An Accidental Uzumaki
by xFEALTYx
Summary: Accidents happen - that's something virtually everyone can agree on. Uzumaki Shinji has experienced the mother of all accidents, and now he has to come to terms with his new life and his new goal: use his newfound powers to protect his twin brother, Naruto, and help him achieve his dream of changing the world. Rated M for gore and possible lemons (no promises).
1. Chapter 1: And so it begins

A/N: Hey peeps! I'm new to this whole writing stories thing, but really wanted to try my hand at it. I'm not a fan of making people read long passages when they just want to read story, so I'm just going to say that I hope the story is enjoyable for you. The intro is quite long, but I felt it was necessary in order to really integrate the self-insert character into the story line. Feel free to review and comment, but please keep things respectful and any criticism constructive. Thanks again for reading! *^_^*

 **Disclaimer: [Insert generic disclaimer about me not owning Naruto and only owning this story and new characters I create and yadayadayada...]**

 **An Accidental Uzumaki**

 _~~~~6:00 AM – Home~~~~_

He scrambled around his room grabbing odds and ends: pencils, calculator, wallet, car keys, scantron, etc... He had stayed studying for a biochemistry final through most of the night, until sleep had finally claimed him in the early hours of the morning. If it hadn't been for the canine alarm clock waking him up at six in the morning wanting to be fed, he would still be sleeping his grade away.

"Alright, Snuggles. I'm up." He grumbled to the spastic border-collie mix running back and forth from the kitchen to his person.

' _Jesus, I don't even think God's up this early…'_ He threw on some clothes hastily: a pair of loose fitting, soft black pants and an equally soft, blue, short sleeved shirt. This guy is a big proponent of "comfort over fashion."

He walked hurriedly down the hallway, through his small living room area and into the kitchen to drop a cup of dog food into doggy ground zero. As Snuggles gorged on the meal, her master reached down and gave her a quick couple pets.

"Never thought there would be a day where your gluttony saves my ass..."

Ten minutes later finds the young man speeding down the freeway, praying that the highway patrol is having too busy of a morning to notice the blatantly obvious speeding violation happening.

* * *

 _~~~~7:00 AM – Science Building University~~~~_

A professor holding the door open for his students, some yawning and some just fidgeting nervously, released said portal and turned to face his class.

"Ow! Son of a-!" The instructor turned around to see a hand squashed between the door frame and the door itself as a slightly panting young man pushes into the classroom.

"Cutting it close there aren't you, Nick?" The professor gave an amused smirk to the young man now identified as 'Nick'.

"Yeah, my bad. On the bright side, I think I set a new land speed record getting here."

Chuckling, the good-natured teacher replied, "Go ahead and find a seat. We're about to start handing out the exam."

Two hours later and one exam finished, Nick was once again on the freeway, this time speeding on his way to work. The sky was quickly taking on an overcast appearance, indicating a possibility of a storm rolling in. Given the Arizona desert climate, a storm is always something noteworthy to the natives, and this one was looking fairly evil on the horizon.

Absentmindedly, he checked his phone for the weather forecast, and was surprised to see that there was no storm indication present, meaning either this storm is an act of wizardry, or the weathermen feeding the information for this app sucked at their jobs. The weather was obviously not 'sunny' as the app said it was, and he had never received his letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, so he decided it was probably the latter scenario.

' _Fantastic'_ , Nick muttered to himself mentally in irritation. Driving during the Arizona rains was not usually the most fun time to be had, as the streets are not really designed to handle lots of water and are prone to flooding as the meager draining system employed failed spectacularly. The last thing Nick wanted was to swim to work. Obviously an exaggeration but still…

Nick was jolted from his bitter musings by a blurred motion from his peripheral vision. His eyes widened in surprise as a shimmering sheet of falling water blindsided his vehicle and rain began relentlessly assaulting the environment. Frantically, he turned on his wipers so that he could see where he was going on the road and noticed cars doing the same as they tried to slow down and re-orient their vehicle to gain some semblance of control.

There was an impossibly bright flash of light, followed by an explosion of sound half a second later as a dazzling stream of electrons hit the top of an 18-wheeler. Nick raised his hand fruitlessly to shield his eyes from the lightning's visual blast. His eyes cleared a second later, just enough to see through the spots of light still flashing on his seared retina. Cars careened left and right to avoid the truck that had lost traction on the road as the panicked driver had swerved the truck, trying to steady the now sliding vehicle. As the flaming vehicle slid laterally across nearly all the lanes, the driver could see all the vehicles heading straight for his truck. Knowing that a collision was likely, the truck driver listened to his instincts, jumped over the passenger side door and as the large truck slowed from friction of its sideways movement, and hurled himself as far from the truck as he possibly could. As he hit the ground, he rolled a few times before getting to his feet as fast as possible, adrenaline dulling the pain from the scrapes he now sported across his arms and his right side that had taken most of the impact. He ran as fast as his feet and slightly overlarge body could move him. The driver ran to the hill on the side of the road and kept running, trying to put as much distance in between him and the monster of a wreck that was happening behind him. He flung himself to the ground as a concussive force reached him in the form of his truck behind him exploding. The truck had been transporting gas that had just ignited from the fire penetrating the tank. Luckily, the driver had managed to put enough distance between himself and the truck that he only suffered minor flash burns from the initial blast and nothing life threatening.

Slamming his breaks, Nick attempted to stop his vehicle to from entering the multi-car pileup that was currently happening in front of him; however, the slickness of the road as water mixed with the oils present had other plans. Before Nick's brain even registered what was happening, his car clipped a smaller car with the left front of his Chevy Cavalier, which sent him ricocheting violently to the right and lifted his car slightly up onto its two right side wheels. The freeway, being elevated on a hill, had a fairly step slope on the right side, and his car was heading right for it. Still disoriented from the hit, he was unable to respond as the unstable vehicle hit this slope, the right side wheels slipped out from under itself, causing the small car to begin tumbling down the hill. The airbags deployed from the violent treatment, smashing Nick in the side and his face. He had enough time to register the pain coming from his nose and the feel of liquid trailing down his face, and dimly noted that his nose was probably broken, before something smashed into the back of his head and he knew no more.

There was pain. As knives danced across his flesh, Nick opened his eyes to see that he was no longer in his vehicle. Rain pounded him, coating his glasses and making it difficult to see anything else. He tried to sit up, but quickly relented as pain made him nearly black out again.

' _AAAAAHHH, FUCK!'_ Nick screamed mentally. He tried to control his ragged breathing, as deep breaths were excruciating.

After a few minutes of lying there, he attempted to diagnose his most grievous injuries by feel. Most of the pain was radiating from his head, ribs, and pretty much his entire left side. He was fairly certain some things were broken, besides his nose, and he was sure he was bleeding from multiple places.

No sooner had he realized that with his injuries he was completely immobile and unless someone came for him, he was probably going to die right there, the earth began to shake. With a sound akin to a bestial roar, he felt the ground giving way around him. A large depression formed around him and his vehicle, nearly half the size of a football field. If he could see through his watery glasses he would have been terrified to see what appeared to be jaws and teeth as the 'depression' took on the shape of a gaping maw made of earth. The fang lined mouth rose around Nick before closing, enshrouding the scared young man in absolute darkness followed by the sensation of falling.

* * *

~~~~ _Time: Unknown – Location: Unknown~~~~_

 _Drip._

…

 _Drip._

…

 _Drip, Drop._

…

 _Drip._

' _That's irritating...'_ Nick thought to himself as he became self-aware once more.

Suddenly, he gasped and opened his eyes as his memories of recent events returned to him. He instinctively rushed to sit up, before cringing and waiting for the killer pain to hit. Nothing came. Surprised, he looked at himself and came to realization that he was completely unharmed. Even his clothes had been completely repaired as if they were brand new.

As he looked himself over he noticed bright blue and green markings on the ground next to him. They gave off a shimmering light that waxed and waned at a slow regular frequency, almost like the light was breathing.

The markings spanned the ground surrounding him in a wide, spacious circumference, with lines of symbols radiating from the inner circle where he lay, to the outer circle. The symbols looked like some wonky amalgamation of Japanese, Arabic, and Klingon.

Seriously, he had never seen a language like this one. It was almost too difficult for the human eye to follow, with parts that were angular and parts that were smooth and swirling. Some parts seems like they were forming patterns that made a sort of artistic sense and some patterns just seemed to disappear oddly in ways the made his brain flip flop- at least that's the way he would probably describe the sensation, as he was pretty sure it was impossible for a brain to literally flip flop.

Once he was sufficiently satisfied with his observations of the ground markings, he took a minute to take in the rest of his surroundings. He was in a large, square, flat clearing. The ground upon which the markings were drawn was made of a dark material that at first glance looked like black glass, but upon closer inspection seemed to be perfectly flattened crystals. When the light waxed brighter, he was able to see a rough reflection of himself on the surface.

 _Drip._

Nick looked for the source of that incessant dripping and was astonished to find it was from a puddle behind him next to where his head had been. The puddle wasn't the astonishing part. It was the fact that, instead of the water dripping from the ceiling onto the floor, it was dripping from the floor to the ceiling, despite the observation that gravity appeared to operate opposite to this. This was evidenced by the fact that Nick was lying on what he considered to be the floor and not the ceiling. It was as if this particular puddle had a personal grudge against one Isaac Newton.

' _Huh… Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…'_

Forming a ring around the outside of the clearing, jagged, monolithic crystals jutted from the floor, looking like some kind of alien Stonehenge. Beyond the Stonehenge-like monoliths about ten feet, an imposing wall of solid crystal that extended roughly twenty feet in the air completed the landscape. The walls and monolithic stones gave of a dim light that reminded him of the black lights that are often used at rave parties, but lent sufficient light that had could at least see his surrounding with a fair amount of detail.

A slight high pitch humming and whooshing sound made itself heard from behind him and Nick turned to the source of the noise to find an odd… something… standing… or rather – floating?... and looking at him with what he guessed was some kind of excited interest.

The creature appeared to be composed of similar material as the environment, but with small stream of multicolored light that seemed to be refracted within its shell, as if making some sort of visible vascular system of swirling energy. It's torso was, if he had to describe it, cone shaped with the broad end skyward and the narrow end pointed to the ground, with four spindly appendages that appeared to have a function similar to arms and hands attached to the outside of the upper end of the cone. Two crystalline spheres floated, one above and one below the cone. The lower one seemed to spin if the swirling lights were any indication, and the small sporadic arcs the multicolored lightning that sometimes sparked from the orb to the ground lent an idea that it was meant as some means of locomotion and kept the creature afloat. The upper orb was not spinning and had four depressions in a straight line that had smaller spheres within and small lights on these smaller spheres that gave the impression of pupils on an eyeball.

These "pupils" were directed squarely at Nick.

Nick decided he was at a distinct disadvantage here, not knowing where he was nor the obviously differing rules of nature that governed this place. Gulping and working up his courage he decided if he was going to die, he wasn't going to die laying on his backside, so he got up slowly to his feet.

He awkwardly waved to the crystal thing. The creatures "eyes" followed his waving hands and it abruptly backed up about a foot, before making a _bleep_ followed by a deep warblesound that reminded Nick of the sound R2D2 from Star Wars makes when he's scared or excited.

Nick froze, then slowly raised his hands with palms outward in what he hoped was a disarming "I'm a nice guy" motion.

The crystal thing didn't move, but after a minute of stoic silence, made another series of sounds again in that R2D2-like droid language, however this time sounding more friendly and excitable. Not knowing, what was said, Nick didn't move or respond. After another minute, the creature tried again, this time the sounds actually resembling a spoken language.

"nuqneH. jIHbe' naDev SoH 'oy'. tlhIj jIH SoH ghIj." Who knows what that was… (AN: points to whoever figures it out :D )

Again, Nick didn't respond, because he didn't want to do anything that might seem aggressive without know what capabilities or temperament this creature held.

The creature spoke again.

"Hola. No estoy aquí para hacerte daño. Me disculpo por asustarte."

This time Nick's eyes lit up as he recognized the language as Spanish from the two years he had taken back in high school. He didn't fully understand what was said, as he was nowhere near fluent, but the creature seemed more scared of him than he was of it at this point, so he decided to try it himself.

"Hi there. I think you're speaking Spanish. I speak English. Do you understand English?" Nick tried to sound as friendly and unaggressive as possible.

"Twentieth to Twenty-First Century English, North America, Earth district, Sol system, Cluster V-MW-O-1319 detected." The creature said in a slightly robotic voice that somehow had an odd undertone similar to that of glass being rubbed against stone. "Hello. I am not here to hurt you. I apologize for scaring you."

Looking nonplussed, he responded, "Well, I understood most of that. Don't worry about scaring me. I'm just happy that you don't appear to have a desire to eat me."

The creature gave another series of shrill excitable bleeps before answering, "We have no need of material sustenance. The Corridor supplies us all we need."

"The Corridor?" He quirked an eyebrow at the unfamiliar reference.

"Yes. That appears to be the closest translation to fit the description. You're essence was brought here after detecting a breach in the Veil. However, further explanations needs must wait until the Archon can explain. My function is to make contact, determine threat analysis, and if deemed not dangerous, to bring the Outsider to Archon-sama."

"Hmm. Yeah, explanation would be handy right now… I've got to get back before long here. I don't know how long I was out but I'm going to have a hungry dog here soon, I imagine, so if you wouldn't mind showing me where the exit is...?" Nick said as he worried about Snuggles.

"Again, I must apologize. You cannot return to that which we retrieved you from."

" _What._ " Nick said with an edge to his voice in aggravation as he struggled to maintain his calm. Snuggles was basically the only family he had left and she was getting old at 14 years old. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he was stuck here and couldn't go back. "Why can't I go back? I _need_ to go back. I'm not going to just sit back and allow my dog to die from starvation!"

"I cannot offer explanation. My task is but to bring you to those that will explain further. If you will follow me, I will escort you to Archon-sama."

Not having any other options, Nick let out a deep breath and nodded his consent slowly. The crystalline creature began moving – giving off a sound that reminded him of the noise the cartoon spaceships from the Jetson's made. _Bprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

What he had assumed to be a solid wall of crystal, in fact, turned out to be two sections of wall that seamlessly blended together such that if you looked at it head on it appeared to be one wall. However, if you approached the wall, it became apparent that there was a corridor behind the front wall.

As they walked down the corridor at a decent pace, Nick decided it safe enough to ask a few general questions.

"Archon-sama? Is that a name or a title? I assume you guys have a way of referring to each other? What's your name? Why do you use Japanese honorifics?"

Not that Nick at this point was all that great at reading the creature's body language, but it seemed startled by the sudden flood of questions.

"Archon is the name we have given the oldest, most knowledgeable, and most powerful of our kind and it is he that will inform you of your current situation. We use honorifics to denote a proper amount of respect and to indicate familiarity. We do not take these from the Japanese of your world, but rather your Japanese take the honorifics from a member of a progenitor race that crossed to your world at some point in your history. This progenitor adopted the honorifics from our race."

"He? So you _do_ have genders… I was wondering about that…"

The creature gave what sounded like an amused warble that Nick assumed was their version of a laugh. "Yes, we have three genders. I am a female."

Nick nearly stumbled at the knowledge that she was a female. In his notions of female characteristics there was nothing that screamed female to him about his escort. Then realized: "Wait… _THREE_ genders?!"

"Yes. We have males, females, and _gonochors_."

Nick was suddenly aware that he about to ask questions about their sexual practices and this might be rude of him, so he opted to politely let the subject drop with an easy, "That's cool."

It seemed that these creatures didn't harbor the same concept of sexual awkwardness and _she_ apparently was more than happy to supply information.

"Oh, yes. You are from a race with two sexes and only one sexual phase. Our race has three sexes and two phases. First, females mate with a gonochor, resulting in implantation of an egg within the gonochor. The egg catalyzes a reaction with the gonochor, altering its overall genetic profile and causes the gonochor to give off an attractant, similar to the concept of pheromones you may be aware of. These pheromones will attract a member of our male species that has a suitable genetic profile to the mate with that same gonochor."

Nick was mesmerized by the information, since it isn't every day that one gets to freely talk to a member of what is essentially an alien species about their biology.

"Daaaaaaamn. Gonochors be getting _busy_." A second later his eyes widened when he realized how stupid and rude he just sounded. "Um… Sorry about that…" He sheepishly apologized.

She just warbled a laugh and said "Indeed. They are necessarily the most active of our species. Although a Gemling is only produced on an average of one every one hundred of your years."

Nick had difficulty hiding his shock at that. "That's it? Why so long in between births?"

"Our DNA is that of a triple-helix, making our genetic composition orders of magnitude more complex than your own. As such, the development of our Gemlings takes much longer. Combined with the complexity of our sexual reproduction process, many of our attempts at procreation either take a large amount of time and energy investment or fail entirely. Our biology compensates for this by allowing us comparably long lives. We live an average of five thousand of your years."

"Wow." That was all he could really say about that. Remembering his other question, he asked, "And your name? I don't really know what to call you besides 'Hey, you'."

"My name is not directly translatable into your own, but you may refer to me as Safaia."

"Well, Safaia-san, it's very nice to meet you, and I appreciate you not eating me." Nick said, remembering to use the honorific.

"Well met, Nick-san. And I believe we have arrived at our destination."

Sure enough, the corridor abruptly ended at a large, black, circular portal with three lines that spiraled in from the outer fringes, coated with electric blue writing similar to that he noticed in the room he had arrived in. At their approach the symbol's light grew in intensity and the portal itself began glowing a soft sky blue before disappearing entirely, as if the matter composing them ceased to exist.

Entering the now exposed room, Nick was shocked by the sheer vastness of its construction. It was like entering a stadium, except that this stadium had what looked like gems instead of stadium seating. The gems were an astounding ten feet tall on average. He couldn't really see much of the room besides the gems that manifested in all sorts of shapes and colors. All these gems seemed to radiate energy and oddly enough appeared to pulsate as if they were living. The gems would periodically swell and increase in light given off before relaxing and dimming. Despite all this dynamic and rhythmic motion it was eerily silent, save for a small, soft crackle of energy that would happen when one of the gems nearby swelled a bit more than usual.

They traveled down a path that had been carved out of the hard surface and winded in and out of gems. There were many paths that connected to theirs at seemingly random intervals, but they stayed on a path that was seemingly taking them towards the center of this arena.

As they neared their destination, the gems gave way to a clearing nearly half the size of a football field with only one noticeable thing present – a _very_ large entity, about three times Safaia's size and exuding a powerful royal purple light standing – or floating, in the exact center. The aura of power surrounding this gem creature could only be described as _oppressive_. Nick felt like gravity had increased and his breathing became more labored as he had to double his efforts to merely move.

Safaia gave off a series of shrill screeches and ended with a sound like someone hitting a gong. The large entity in the middle of this space shuddered a bit, as the power it was giving off began receding a great deal and Nick began to feel somewhat normal again.

Safaia once again conversed briefly with the entity Nick was going to make the educated guess was "Archon-sama".

"My apologies, human-san. It is not often that I must decrease output. Safaia-chan tells me you understand this language, yes?" The frighteningly powerful entity rumble in a harsh metallic sounding voice. Every syllable sounded like a car being crushed in his jaws, if he had jaws that is.

"Yes, I understand, and I also understand that there are some things you want to talk to me about – something about me not being able to go back to my world? As friendly as Safaia-san is, I _do_ have obligations where I come from, namely a pet that's probably very hungry right about now…" Nick didn't mean to sound as irritated as he did, but he definitely wasn't happy about what he knew so far.

"That is correct, human—"

"My name is Nicholas. Nick for short."

Being called 'human' was going to get old fast.

"Very well. Nick-san… You cannot go back to your world as you no longer exist there."

Well, ain't that a bitch…

Nick nearly choked on the air he was taking in as he heard this. "What the hell do you mean I don't exist there anymore? I'm right _here_! You brought me here. Send me back!"

The frustration and helplessness was making itself heard in his voice. Normally, he was very well controlled emotionally, but today's events were beginning to catch up as the punches kept coming...

"It is not within our power to do that. We saw fit to bring you here as you were about to die in your world. Normally we do not concern ourselves with the circumstances of the individuals within the realities over which we maintain vigil. However, your situation was special and you were the only one mortally wounded. The situation was brought about through a mistake of our own. One the likes of which has only happened once before in all of history and we had thought the breach impossible to happen again. A laxness in our observation of the threads that tie reality together allowed a substance that does not exist and _cannot_ exist in your realm to manifest – this is what caused the weather phenomena that resulted in your demise. The good news is we have identified Minat—the individual responsible for this is have patched his realm to only allow his… technique… to operate within his realm."

A nonplussed Nick merely stared at the entity that may as well be God to him as far as station goes and replied, "OK. Mistakes were made. I get that. Get to the part where I no longer exist." Then, remembering he was probably as significant to this being as an ant was to a human, he added, "Please."

"Yes, I was coming to that part" The Archon continued, not recognizing the disrespect he had been given, "As is the case in most realms, energy can neither be created nor destroyed. We are also sworn not to interfere in the realms beyond our purview of maintaining the existence of Reality. There are special circumstances by which we may personally enter the realms but that does not apply here. In your case, specifically, our options were to let the foreign energy be dealt with as your realm deemed fit, most likely in a violent and destructive manner that would most assuredly have killed thousands of your people as the energy faced entropy and rapidly decayed into extremely potent radiation akin to what you refer to as nuclear winter, _or_ , we could convert that energy ourselves and use it in a way that hopefully resolved the dilemma. Our solution was to use that energy to copy your consciousness and bring it here; however, the foreign energy wasn't quite sufficient to do the job alone, so we converted the matter in your body to energy and used the energy gained to complement the foreign energy, fueling your transportation through the Veil between realms as well as creating a suitable Construct for you here."

"Well, shit." Nick said simply.

"Shit, indeed."

Nick looked at the Archon oddly at the curse. Somehow, this wise and powerful being using profane language just seemed like some kind of blaspheme, not that Nick was what anybody would call religious.

"You said you just basically used energy to get me here. Is there no way to get the energy to send me back?"

"Yes, we could do that; however, the amount of energy required is vast. We used the synergistic reaction of chakra with your realms energy balance system to our advantage. No such system exists here as chakra is able to exist in _our_ realm without any unbalanced reactions and we must needs gather the energy in a manner that follows the rules of this realm. It would take use approximately ten of your years to gather the energy if we started now, but one must keep in mind that time is not equal between realms. One year here is nearly a thousand of your years. It would be as if we had transported you a thousand years into the future."

"Snuggles isn't going to wait that long."

Suddenly, Nick realized that a thousand to one time difference multiplied by the hour or so he had been here—it had already been over a month gone by in his home world.

Snuggles was either dead from starvation or someone had rescued her. His heart ached at the thought of the possibility that his only remaining immediate family was probably dead, but held on to the sliver of hope that the police had noticed his car rolled over on that hill and subsequently gone to his house and found his dog.

' _Damn it, I'm a man. I refuse to cry in front of aliens.'_ He took a deep breath and gathered his wits about him.

"So, what happens now?"

* * *

 _~~~~8:00 AM – Training Field 7~~~~_

Namikaze Minato tried to reign in his excitement as he just _knew_ he was about to redefine combat with his new technique. It was a modified, and in his humble opinion, an improved version of the Nidaime's _Hiraishin_ jutsu. He also had an image to maintain and this image did _not_ include giggling like a fangirl.

Minato currently sat in a training field often used by him and his team to practice jutsu and team exercises. He was researching a space-time jutsu that was supposed to be lost when the Nidaime was killed. Surrounding him was a large seal array he had personally designed. This array was supposed to be his safety net for practice with space-time jutsu, as it would prevent his departure if it detected his jutsu was going to teleport him to a place that did not behave in the same manner as the place from which he originated.

Until he perfected the _Hiraishin,_ the array was a very necessary precaution as his girlfriend, Uzumaki Kushina, would be _highly_ aggravated if he got himself torn apart in some random corner of the cosmos… and an aggravated Kushina was a violent Kushina.

Minato gave an involuntary shudder as his imagination supplied him with memories of the times he had aggravated the legendary "Fiery Red Habanero _"._

The amount of chakra contained in the array was vast, as it needed to be able to overpower and redirect potentially dangerous amounts of chakra. He, Kushina, and his sensei, Jiraiya, had supplied large quantities of chakra over several weeks to the array to further Minato's cause. At its current state, it held more chakra than ten Kages.

"Get a move on, boya! My tadpoles are going to be grown toads before I get back at this rate!" A shout came from the side of the field where Kushina and Jiraiya sat. If one didn't know better, then one might have thought the oversized toad that oddly enough wore a cloak and was smoking a pipe had spoken—if one didn't know better…

Unfortunately, Minato was well acquainted with Fukusaku-sama.

Sighing mildly, Minato glared at the old toad and yelled, "Sorry! It's not like I'm trying to change the ninja world and secure Konoha's place in the future or anything, right?!"

Turning back to his array, and once again clearing his mind, he thought, ' _Alright. Let's do this.'_

Setting his features firmly, he chucked his specially designed kunai to the other end of the array. Most people would have thought the unique appearance of the kunai was there only to make the kunai more distinguishable and therefore recognizable, but Minato wasn't that vain. The hidden reason was that the tips of the tri-pointed aerodynamic weapon of death formed a triangle, and anybody that knows what we call trigonometry knows that triangles can be used to—here it comes: _triangulate_.

If the kunai was going to be used as a beacon, a beacon needs a specific _location_. The paper wrapped around the kunai allowed the system to be used as a Fuin, or sealing, technique, as well as supplied additional information about the beacons location in relation to the space-time continuum.

Fukusaku and the toads had supplied much of space-time continuum information that he needed and the rest was a product of his research on what remained of the Nidaime's knowledge, his girlfriend's knowledge of seals as an Uzumaki, as well as Minato's own genius and prodigious talent in the art of Fuin.

" _Fuin_ " Minato stated simply, and instantly he felt his reserves drain to almost nothing before his protection array recognized the danger and cut the technique. He collapsed to the ground in absolute tiredness.

"Minato!" All three onlookers ran over to Minato's side in concern.

"What happened!?" Kushina looked at her boyfriend in obvious distress.

"Took all my chakra", was Minato's tired reply.

Jiraiya looked confused, as he knew the technique was doable; it was known that the Nidaime had used it, albeit not in battle, as he had not thought of using a kunai as a beacon. That was Minato's brainchild.

Kushina quickly searched her person for the chakra pills every ninja was supposed to carry with them and gave one to Minato.

"Such a short distance should not use much chakra…" Jiraiya picked up the kunai and looked at it, giving a nonplussed look as he handed the kunai to Kushina. He was widely considered to be a sealing "master", but truth be told, Kushina and Minato were both better than him at this point. Minato had outstripped him ages ago, and Kushina was a full blood Uzumaki: one does not simply compare sealing mastery with an Uzumaki. That was like comparing a squirt gun to one of the Nidaime's overpowered water jutsu.

Kushina looked at the kunai for about 5 seconds before she began to tremble.

"You BAKA!" She yelled at her boyfriend in fury. "This is why you have no chakra! You didn't copy Fukusaku-sama's thread coordinates correctly! Kami only knows where you would have ended up if the beacon protection array hadn't cut off the jutsu!"

Minato's brash girlfriend showed him the offending kunai and he immediately saw his mistake. With a groan, he tore off the specially made seal paper and crumpled it up before lighting it ablaze with a small fire jutsu. He would have to redraw the whole thing.

"Well, that's interesting…" Everybody looked at Fukusaku, awaiting to hear what was so intriguing. "I don't feel any chakra coming from the protection array at all anymore. Ten kages worth of chakra instantly gone. I wonder where it went?"

Minato sweatdropped as he felt an uneasy feeling come over him.

Hopefully he didn't send all that energy somewhere that couldn't take it—like maybe a realm that didn't normally accept chakra as a native energy source and might react synergistically to its presence, resulting in a cataclysmic reaction that could kill thousands of people… but that wouldn't _really_ happen, right?

Then, Minato realized that if the chakra was gone, he was going to have to recharge the entire array before he could try again…

' _Kill me now!"_ he mentally sweatdropped.

* * *

 _~~~~Time: Unknown—Location: The Corridor~~~~_

Nick stared at the super powered Gem-like ruler in front of him.

"Run that by me again?"

"Our only option is to send you to a realm that is currently close in thread proximity as well as one that contains chakra, as your essence has now been exposed to chakra and while we can filter out most of it, if even a trace of chakra is left in your essence upon implantation into a realm that doesn't support chakra, you would explode."

"So you are going to send me to a place that I don't know a damn thing about and I'm supposed to _survive_?!" Nick asked incredulously. "You sending me to this place would basically just kill me slowly. I'd be nothing more than a beggar on the streets in a world that is drastically different from my own."

"Yes, that is why we have contacted the Elder of a race that is similar to our own, and through them you will be integrated into your new world."

"Why not just send me back to my world, even if it is a thousand years into the future?"

"Your world does not support chakra, as I stated. There is also the matter of the ten years it would take to do so, as the threads and time dilation has caused our realms to drastically separate in the time you have been here. Your world vibrates much more quickly than your prospective new world. Being that the Corridor supplies our biology with sustenance from the cosmos, there is nothing edible here for a human to eat. You would not live ten days here. It is patently unfeasible to consider ten years."

Sighing once again at his lack of options, Nick decided that if was going to happen anyways, it would be more productive to approach the situation proactively.

"OK. So, new world. What do I need to know about this new world?"

The Archon nodded—if you could have called anything a floating sphere for a head could do a nod—at Safaia. "Safaia-chan is more suited to inform you in this matter, as she is the Sentinel most educated with the customs of the races in realms over which we Keep—a hobby we admittedly viewed as worthless, but now consider _potentially_ useful."

Nick frowned at the Archon's apparent dislike for Safaia's choice of academia; however, let it slide, as there was unlikely to be anything he could contribute that the seemingly omnipotent being might deem worthy of notice. He was obviously little more than an infant in the wizened leader's eyes if they lived to be five thousand years old.

He turned his head in the direction of the Archon's nod, mildly surprised that Safaia was still there. She hadn't said a peep throughout the entire conversation so far. She obviously had patience in spades.

"I guess you and I get to chat a bit more, eh, Safaia-san?" Nick smiled fondly at the comparatively good-natured gem woman.

"Indeed, that appears to be the case, Nick-san. Please follow me. I will escort you back to the pad from which you arrived. It is from there that you will depart to your new world." At that Safaia began to guide him back through the mesmerizing, odd, yet admittedly quite beautiful maze of gems.

"I bet one of these things alone would be worth a fortune back in my home world…"

"We have no real need for currency here. As I said, the Corridor supplies us with all we need, so there is nothing to buy, but I would say that our children are priceless, as they are our future."

Nick nodded sagely, then promptly did a double-take as he realized what she just said. "Wait. _CHILDREN?!_ These are all _eggs?!_ "

"Yep. What did you think they were?"

Nick's eyes still wide at the revelation, responded, "I thought it was some kind of weird power plant or something…"

Safaia gave another one of her good-natured warble laughs, "Well, technically, you're not far off. Archon-sama uses his large power reservoirs to generate a strong field in the presence of the Gemlings, which helps further their production and hopefully successful hatching. What you see before you is the entire Gemling population of our race. "

"You literally have all your eggs in one basket? I'm not a military genius, but isn't that generally not advisable?"

"We have no threats here. There are no predators here for us, as this realm was created specifically for our existence in order to fit our needs and fulfil our unique purpose. It's impossible for anyone outside our species to enter here without our express consent."

"Hmmm. Also, I wasn't sure, but is it just me or is your speech beginning to sound different? When we first met, your speech sounded a bit… Um… robotic?"

"Yeah. I'm integrating your speech patterns into my own as I listen to you speak as well as using data being sent to me remotely concerning the speech patterns of your time period and culture. It takes a little time, but soon I'll be linguistically indistinguishable from one of your natives. I got skills, yo."

Nick couldn't help but laugh at this point. After a few moments of enjoying his mirth and wondering how he had managed to make what he was fast considering a friend from what was a completely alien creature an hour ago, Nick decided he needed to get to business.

"So, how is this going to work? Am I going to close my eyes and instantly wake up in new world?"

"Not quite. We will put you to sleep, whereupon your body will be broken down similarly to when we brought you here. Your physical composition would most likely stick out in this new world, and unfortunately, if we sent you as you are, your body would not be able to adjust to the presence of the chakra coils that all people have in this world."

The term 'chakra coils' sent a small flag up in his brain, but he couldn't match the term to a memory. He had a feeling he had heard that term in some reading he had done before.

"Chakra coils? Wait, I don't know what those are. I _am_ going to be human, right? I'm not going to wake up as some lizard creature, am I?" Nick was beginning to doubt this new world thing.

"Oh, no. Of course not. However…" Safaia appeared to be rather uneasy, but she forged on, "you will need to enter the world in relatively _normal_ fashion as one of your race enters their world."

Nick just looked at her in confusion. "I don't follow."

"You will need to be reborn...Literally."

"…"

"…"

"You've got to be shitting me."

"I shit you not, Nick-san."

"But I don't want to…" Nick whined uncharacteristically.

"Unfortunately, this is the best way to facilitate your integration. If it's any consolation, you won't be cognizant of any of your childhood before approximately two years of age, whereupon a 'snapshot' if you will of your current consciousness will be integrated with the memories of your two year old self over a period of approximately one year. By the time you are three, you will be fully developed."

"Not fully…"

"I'm sorry?" Safaia responded in confusion.

"You're going to make me go through puberty again… I don't know if you know how bad hormones suck, but it's pretty bad." Nick said with irritation.

Safaia warbled at him in mild amusement. "I _am_ sorry for any discomfort this brings you, but if it makes you feel any better, Archon-sama has allowed us to compensate you for this inconvenience."

He perked up slightly at this. "Compensation sounds good. You going to make me wake up a billionaire?"

"No… It would be unethical to influence the native economy in that matter, and I doubt we have anybody with sufficient knowledge of currency in general to perform such a feat. But do not fret, Archon-sama has allowed me to give you something that no human, or any other creature for that matter, can claim to possess."

"Ohhhhh. What is it?" Nick sounded more like a kid at Toys'R'Us rather than an educated young man. "Is it a super powered quest item? Or maybe a special power that makes me a super hero?"

"It is a contract. _Our contract._ "

"Well, that was anticlimactic. I'm not a big fan of contacts… Too many legal terms and hidden clauses." Contracts are looked at rather suspiciously as far as Nick knew.

"Contracts have a different connotation in this new world and are highly valued. In a way, they _could_ be considered what you would think of as a super power. Unfortunately, further explanation will need to wait until you can actually use it. As it stands right now, I have been authorized to place a seal on you containing the contract. Normally, seals on a person will be revealed when that person channels chakra through the portion of flesh upon which the seal is drawn. The seal I will place on you will not show, however, until you possess chakra in sufficient quantity to make use of the contract. Understand, this gift is a boon, but it is also a responsibility and misuse of this gift _will not_ be tolerated. I trust I make myself perfectly clear."

' _Jesus, this chick sounds like she could be my mother.'_

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. When you are able to obtain the contract bring it to Jiraiya-san and he will inform Fukusaku-sama. They will explain a summon contract in more detail. Fukusaku-sama has been entrusted with watching over you in this new world, but we will be checking in on you from time to time, as well."

He experienced an odd sense of déjà vu at the mention of the name 'Jiraiya'. He felt as though this name should ring some sort of bell for him…

"I'm not going to remember all this most likely…"

"Don't fret. I will include instructions with the contract."

"Aww, you spoil me Safaia-chan!"

Safaia slowed down for a second at the new honorific that some might consider rude, but quickly resumed her previous pace. Warbling softly, she said, "I suppose as your chosen summoning representative, I can allow you that much."

Nick smiled up at his newfound friend.

They arrived at the pad shortly thereafter. Safaia walked over to one of the nearby monoliths and placed one of her spindly appendages on the structure. The large structure glowed brightly for a brief moment before sounding out a clear bell-like tone. Moments later, another monolith glowed and sounded a different tone, followed by another, and another. Soon a strange melody was ringing throughout the chamber as the sky began to change and resemble something similar to a clear night sky. One of the 'stars' began to wax in intensity as it appeared to draw closer.

As it approached, it was quickly made clear that it was not a star, but rather a large swirling thing that looked more like a galaxy. The melody changed and the galaxy structure zoomed in quickly to one particular arm of the galaxy, and then to one star within the arm, and finally to one planet orbiting that star. The planet took up most of the sky and it could have been earth if one didn't note the obvious difference in the layout of the land. You could see deserts, and snow lands, swaths of green territory, and everything in between.

"Please lie down in the inner circle, Nick-san"

Nick did so, becoming a bit nervous as it began to set in that he was essentially about to be disintegrated like that one kid in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It didn't end well for him if he could recall correctly.

"Hey, I'm not going to end up as a super tiny person that my mother will have to carry around, will I?" Thinking about the mother carrying off that kid in her purse in Willy Wonka.

Safaia just said, "Of course you will."

Nick did a double-take. "Huh?!"

"You'll be an infant, dummy…"

Then there was a bright flash of light and once again, as had happened too many times this day, Nick knew no more.

* * *

 _~~~~Time: 10:37 PM October 10—Location: large, remote clearing outside of Konoha~~~~_

A streak of yellow light flashed into existence and where there had been nothing before now stood one Minato Namikaze, carrying a woman dressed in a flowing green and beige dress. At any other time, Minato might have noticed the way the dress complemented her cascading, long, silky red hair that extended from her head down to the middle of her back. To him, she was the most beautiful creature in existence.

He gently placed her on her feet next to what appeared to be a large cradle from whom which soft gurgling and every so often slight whimpering sounds could be heard.

Minato formed quick hand seals, faster than most shinobi eyes could follow and slammed his open right palm into the ground.

" _Fuin: Kai!_ "

As Minato released an object from his storage seal array, a small puff of smoke appeared next to the cradle, fading away to reveal a plush chair that appeared decorated with murals of toad-like creatures in various battle scenarios. Lovingly, he helped the woman into the newly placed seat.

"Kushi-chan… There's not much time…"

"I know…" Kushina Uzumaki said, looking up at her husband with soft eyes that tried to hide her exhaustion and pain.

~~~~Flashback~~~~

She had given birth, and then not ten minutes later had her son ripped from her by an unknown assailant that had someone managed to penetrate several layers of barriers ranging from A to S class and killed the squad of Anbu that had been present.

Minato had been terrified as the orange-masked villain had swiped his newborn son, Naruto, as a hostage to be bartered in exchange for the Kyuubi inside Kushina. Responding instantly, Minato had used his perfected _Hiraishin_ to close the gap between them and in a flurry of movements had secured Naruto from the would-be assassin.

Minato felt that something was off. For a shinobi that had killed an entire squad of his best shinobi in roughly thirty seconds, he had been fairly easily taken by surprise.

Then he heard it: _Hssssssssssssssssssss~_

He knew that sound. Every shinobi knew that sound.

' _Exploding tag!'_ Minato knew that these tags only worked in relatively close proximity to the chakra that had primed them, so he did what had become instinct to him: He teleported.

He teleported a short distance away, quickly securing another bundle in lighting motion before he was gone once more.

He had arrived in a clearing—a location picked as a secondary position in case of an attack. Shinobi were nothing if not paranoid about security.

He looked down frantically at Naruto to notice the tag hanging slightly out of his son's diaper and saw the writing on the tag begin to dim and the nerve racking sound fade away as the tag deactivated.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Minato quickly scanned the area, searching for any hostile presence that might be lurking by. He detected nothing and quickly unsealed a large cradle upon which he placed the two bundles.

The second bundle he had picked up gave a small whimper.

"Shhh now, Shinji-kun. You'll be safe here. I need to go help your mother."

A quick memory of Kushina on the day she informed him they were having twin boys surfaced in his mind. He had never been happier than when he saw her eyes sparkle with tears of joy and her hands had caressed her rounding midsection lovingly.

He knew she would be a terrific mother for his children.

They had already known that they were having one boy and Minato had convinced his wife to name him Naruto, sealing in his sensei and the closest thing Minato had to a father figure as Naruto's godfather.

And so, Minato had decided that his wife would pick the name of the next child they had. Kushina had always said the world could do with more truth, as evidenced by her brash attitude and tendency to spout whatever was on her mind. Thus, the name 'Shinji' came about—'Shin' meaning truth.

That all seemed so long ago, and yet it had been fairly recent.

His resolve hardened and his eyes gained the steely look that would have had half of Iwa running for the hills had they seen it. He had a reputation for a reason and now he was pissed.

Closing his eyes briefly, he opened his senses and felt for it. And there is was. He could feel the seal imbued with his own life essence that was almost merged with his wife's own chakra. That was the seal he kept on Kushina at all times as a safety precaution to come to her rescue if need be.

He pulled on his chakra that was contained within the seal and felt as it responded, beacon activating, and pulling him to the seal's location faster than the brain could even process.

"Minato!" His wife's urgent plea reached out to him as the canary light heralded her husband's presence.

His eyes widened slightly at what he beheld.

A roar cut out into the night air and the sheer volume of air displaced caused Minato's haori to whip about his person violently and his feet to dig shallow trenches in the earth as he was pushed back several feet.

A massive red Kitsune face stared down at him from a height of more than two hundred feet, towering over Kushina as she struggled through her pain and fatigue, attempting to stand up.

Anguish tore through Minato at the sight. He knew what happened to the jinchuriki when a Biju was removed from its host…

Death.

Kushina, his wife, was dying… and none of his vaunted skills could save her. He was a butcher, and though he was versed in first aid and even some minor healing seals, he was no medic, and there was no known way to save a jinchuriki that had been parted from their demon.

Minato moved mostly out of instinct that can only be born of experience in high level combat, weaving in and out of the path of the Kyuubi's nine tails that were hell bent on making a Minato shish kabob. Even whilst he moved in practiced motion, his eyes never left his wife.

"Uh-oh! Minato-kun better pay attention!" Sure enough, two of the tails suddenly diverted from chasing the Namikaze and redirected to a collision course with a still visibly weak Kushina.

Minato once again abused his signature jutsu that some may have said was overpowered, but in the ninja world, overpowered merely meant you lived a bit longer by using it. Instantly, he was in front of Kushina.

"I'll take you to them." Minato said to his wife softly. He picked her up off of the ground and held her bridal style before focusing on the seal on the cradle.

"Oh! Oh! Tobi knows! Minato-kun must want the Kyuubi back! Tobi will bring the Kyuubi back to Konoha because Tobi is a good boy!"

Minato was no fool. He knew it was an act. Nobody could be that much of a dunce and be able to break through the layers of barriers this Tobi had and annihilated high level shinobi as nonchalantly as he had. 'Bring the Kyuubi back to Konoha' was obviously meant to goad him back into a fight in which he was outnumbered and at a disadvantage. If he fought now, he would be concentrating on protecting Kushina, not winning the fight and this 'Tobi' knew that.

There was also the matter of the doujutsu Minato had noticed sitting inside the only eyehole in the orange swirling mask Tobi wore. The Sharingan. Once he had noticed the doujutsu some pieces began to come together. The most important being why the Kyuubi was not attacking the masked man that was standing close enough to the towering fox demon to pet it should he want to.

There were legends and rumors that attributed the ability to control Biju to the Sharingan. Before today, Minato might have given the gossip a certain amount of skepticism. After all, Minato himself was rumored to be so fast that he could catch a bolt of lightning and hurl it at an enemy. It was complete bullshit, obviously. I mean, he might be able to create a seal that would be able to attract lighting to it and subsequently store the electric energy—with careful preparation, - but there was no way he was reaching out and plucking lightning from the sky like he was Zeus and hurling bolts around. However, in this case, it appeared that the legend was rooted in some truth.

Taking the taunt for what it was, Minato made his decision. He would reunite mother and sons, and then he would go kick some orange-faced clown and giant, red, fuzz ball ass.

~~~~End Flashback~~~~

* * *

 _~~~~Time: 10:55 PM October 10—Location: Just outside the gates of Konoha~~~~_

The sounds of frenzied combat could be heard for miles around outside Konoha, as explosion after explosion ripped through the air and huge impacts in the shape of gigantic fiery red tails rent the earth asunder.

"We can't hold this demon much longer!" A nameless voice cried out in obvious distress. "We need Hokage-sama!"

"Stand your ground! Hokage-sama will be here. It is our duty to hold until then and we _will_ do so, even to the last man!" A commanding voice responded, brooking no argument. He was the Elite Jonin in charge of this unit and he was going to make sure his unit protected Konoha with everything they had or die valiantly trying.

That was what it meant to be a shinobi of the Leaf.

"Form up!" His voice sounded once again, his shinobi responding immediately forming a diamond shape with himself as the back point. "On my mark, I want all three of you to combine fire jutsu and send it at the demon."

Silence reigned for a second before: "Mark!"

Two male and one female voice sounded as one with flawless teamwork.

" _Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!"_

Three massive fireballs combined to form one very large wave of raging inferno before being sent at the Kyuubi no Kitsune that was currently rampaging through the gates of Konoha proper.

" _Ninpou: Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"_

A single shuriken aimed at the fireball became many as the shuriken was copied in to a veritable tsunami of spinning, metallic instruments of sharp and pointy death. This fireball did not go unnoticed by the gargantuan many-tailed fox demon.

The Kyuubi swung his tail to bat away the fireball as the nuisance it was, but gave an irritated growl as it felt the wave of shuriken that had been flying hidden within the flames bury themselves in its tail. Ultimately, it was a futile gesture as the sheer size of the demon prevented the shuriken from doing any lasting damage, and moments later, the shuriken were pushed out by a blast of chakra from the offended tail.

Spying the quartet of ninja that were responsible for interrupting his rampage, the Kyuubi monstrosity used that same tail to exact revenge. The shinobi barely had time to understand what was happening before the tail narrowed to a small fraction of its width and skewered the ninja one by one in quick succession with series of squelching sounds.

Their agonized screams pierced the battle ridden air.

If anyone had been standing underneath the tail, it would have looked like it was raining blood as the four now dying shinobi were being rapidly disintegrated by the Kyuubi's corrosive chakra. With a quick motion, the quartet were flung from the tail to land in several _whumpfs_ and clouds of rising dust a good distance away as they landed amongst the debris created by the demon's passing.

Moments before passing into oblivion, the Elite Jonin caught a glimpse of the Kyuubi's rage-filled eyes and dimly noted before his consciousness faded:

" _Sh…Sharingan…?"_

And he was gone…

If he had lived a few moments longer he would have witnessed the air above the Kyuubi's head warp and twist into a whirlpool of shredded space before Tobi stepped out. He landed silently on top of the Kyuubi's head, and looked out upon the war-torn scene laid out before him.

Behind his mask, Tobi smirked in satisfaction as he witnessed his former village be overrun by chaotic battle. His gaze came upon the Hokage Mountain, and the visage of his old childhood friend, Hashirama Senju, as it stood immortalized and taunting him.

Tobi's smirk turned into a scowl and his Sharingan began to swirl menacingly.

He pointed to the village's pride, where _his_ face should have been once upon a time.

"Tear it down…"

The Kyuubi's eyes flashed with the Sharingan, bending the prideful demon to its now master's will. The monstrously powerful demon growled and opened its maw of jagged, human sized teeth. Moments later a sinister aura began to permeate the atmosphere as black, super-condensed chakra began to accumulate within the Kyuubi's jaws. The chakra gathered to a central point before coalescing and solidifying into a large sphere that promised massive destruction for its target.

Tobi shielded his eyes quickly as a flash in front of him obscured his vision.

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that." A voice came from within the blinding light as salvation stepped forth in the form of the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze.

Minato reached down and grabbed a fistful of the Kyuubi's fur, ignoring the burning sensation contact with the foul chakra being brought. "You're coming with me, Furball! _Hiraishin no Jutsu!_ " he said with a snarl.

This time a much bigger flash blazed forth as both the Yondaime Hokage and the Kyuubi vanished from the scene.

In almost the same instant, a corresponding burst of light happened back in the clearing where Minato had left Kushina. Shock from having its surroundings shifted so suddenly disoriented the Kyuubi momentarily, but it was enough to lose concentration, and thus, control of weapon of mass destruction it had been building in its mouth. The Kyuubi released the ball of energy randomly and it hurled into the night sky.

It seemed nature waited on bated breath in silence, as it anticipated what was to come. As the Bijuudama lost structural integrity it exploded outward in a violent cacophony of light and sound, causing gale force winds to blow forth from ground zero. Trees bent and whipped back and forth, many of them capitulating and finally snapping and being blown forth as the wind snapped them up. The entire sky was lit up, making it almost appear as it were merely the midday sun still in the sky overhead, before slowly receding back into darkness.

"Kyaaaaaaaaa!" The sound of Kushina's yell hit Minato's ears and he looked over to see his wife with her vaunted chakra chains protruding from her back and encircling her and their two newborns in a makeshift barrier of protection, keeping the winds and debris at bay.

As the winds abated, the chains around Minato's wife unraveled to reveal Kushina cradling both her children close to her chest, unharmed.

Minato sighed in momentary relief that his loved ones were ok, before turning his focus back to the problem at hand. His mind raced through as many possible scenarios and tallied up the information he had at his disposal as fast as he could. He knew the demon could not be killed. This had been proven through many trials in the past with other Bijuu, and since the demons could not killed, the only other course of action that could be reasonably considered was containment.

The issue is that Bijuu chakra is so condensed and potent that all attempts at producing an item capable of sealing in the absurd amount of chakra a Bijuu possesses had been met with nothing but defeat. The only solution that had been proven viable was to create what they termed "Jinchuuriki," the power of human sacrifice and a living container whose purpose became to keep the beast in check by forging an unbreakable link between the minds and chakra of the human and demon. However, not just anyone could be used as a Jinchuuriki. It needed to be a newborn with malleable chakra coils that could be manipulated to receive and adjust to the foreign chakra entering and _becoming_ a part of his or her own being. There were very rare cases in which people, not infants, with chakra that had certain odd characteristics of malleability and density could withstand the initial corrosion of the infused Bijuu essence long enough to bind it to their own coils through Fuinjutsu. The Uzumaki were the most notorious for being the perfect Bijuu containers, infant or not.

And Minato had two infant Uzumaki's right in front of him…

His heart threatened to tear in two as he searched for any other method to seal away the Kyuubi. He didn't have time to find another child, and he didn't know how he could ask another child's parents to forgive him if he was unwilling to use his own children. A good Hokage must lead by example. It was an unfortunate truth that most Jinchuuriki were scorned throughout their lives, being mistaken for the demons that they housed. How could anyone be convinced that bearing the Kyuubi was an honor and made the child a hero, if it was known he had two viable candidates in front of him that were his own blood and he passed them up to force the "honor" on another kid?

Minato's contemplations were cut off sharply as his instincts took over as he dodged and rolled or flipped to the side several times, each acrobatic maneuver managing to barely keep him from being minced by crimson tails.

Minato knew that before he could even begin to deal with the Kyuubi directly, he would need to break it free of the controlling influence of its master. He had a hunch on a technique that might work to do just that, but the technique needed to be performed on Tobi, and to get to Tobi he would have to go through the Kyuubi.

He flashed to his wife before saying quietly and looking slightly away from her face, unwilling to meet her gaze, "You're not going to like this, but the Kyuubi will need to be sealed; otherwise this will end badly for Konoha…"

He glanced at his wife, noticing her eyes begin to well with pending tears. With a barely quavering voice she responded. "Is there no other way, Minato-kun? They are your children!" Being a jinchuriki herself, she had already thought of the same possible conclusion that might be forced upon one of her boys and just didn't think she could stand for it. She would gladly carry the demon herself, but her two sochis were innocent, undeserving of the stigma jinchuriki lived with.

"You think I don't know that! This is killing me! Literally, once I use the Shiki Fuin! But I can't use another child… There's no time! And the Uzumaki blood in their veins ensures nearly a zero chance of host rejection! It _must_ be these two."

As much as she hated the thought of one of her kids being a Jinchuuriki… but, wait…

"These _two?!_ "

Steeling himself, Minato looked her dead in the eyes, "I'm going to split the chakra between them. I'll put the Yang chakra in Naruto and the Yin chakra in Shinji. There's too much chakra to put into one child. If Tobi had only pulled out part of the Kyuubi's chakra, it would be different, but he is very skilled…"

At this point, Tobi interrupted, "As _touching_ as watching your last words is, I _do_ have places to be and things to do… So, I'm going to need you to die right about now…"

As he said 'now' the Kyuubi shot forward to slam a house-sized paw onto the couple, attempting to crush the family in one go. Kushina was the one that responded with her chakra chains that were still out by wrapping the chains around the incoming appendage and yanking it at an angle to the ground, causing the Kyuubi to lose balance for a second.

Minato saw this opportunity and used a thrown tri-pronged kunai to teleport to the Kyuubi, already forming the well-practiced hand seals necessary. He heard a light whistle in the air from his left and flipped upside down to have a kunai courtesy of Tobi whiz underneath his head.

" _Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_

A large cloud of billowing smoke erupted outward from above the Kyuubi. The smoke dissipated to reveal a _very_ large red toad, wearing a blue vest and large dosu blade strapped to his hip. This massive toad quickly descended upon the Kyuubi, squashing it to the ground with his weight. The Kyuubi snarled and thrashed, more to rid himself of the _humiliation_ of being sat on rather than any source of pain.

"Gamabunta! Hold the Kyuubi down for as long as you can!" Minato shouted to the amphibian.

"Damn it, gaki! There better be a good explanation and a large barrel of your best sake for bringing me here from the mountain!" The grouchy toad yelled back.

Minato allowed a brief smirk at his boss summon's typical response. Any chance he could take to get sake… sometimes he wondered why Jiraiya had the toad contract and not Tsunade. Tsunade and Gamabunta would get along like two peas in a pod… if peas could get plastered.

"Kushina-chan! Gamabunta has the Kyuubi handled. I need your chains to run interference for me!"

Kushina still had her sochis in her arms, but she didn't need her arms to manipulate her chains, and she responded by sending her chains in force after Tobi.

Tobi weaved in and out of the chakra chains thrusts and swipes with expert precision, moving only as much as necessary. His shinobi instincts screamed in alarm, and he triggered one of his trademark abilities as Minato's hand and kunai pierced the spot where his head resided. Minato flashed away in confusion and alarm that his attack didn't connect. He didn't miss. He was sure of it. This guy didn't even dodge. He just stood there… but it was like he had stabbed air...

Minato used a quick " _Kai!"_ and flared his chakra to release any lower level genjutsu he might be under and checked his chakra flow before he went on the attack again, racing towards his target. He threw a kunai at Tobi while running and began a quick series of hand seals.

" _Ninpou: Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"_

The special kunai multiplied, made even more special as they all retained what Minato referred to as "Hiraishinability," meaning that the Hiraishin seals on the kunai were active and could be used as effective beacons. That made an already A ranked jutsu vastly more effective and deadly.

Tobi once again phased out of existence, allowing the swarm of kunai to pass cleanly through him as if scorning the technique, like it was beneath him to dodge.

This is what Minato was hoping he would do. He desperately needed more information on this ability of his opponents if he was going to stand a chance of beating someone who appeared to be able to negate _all_ physical attacks. Add to this the fact that Tobi possessed the Sharingan, meaning genjutsu would be extremely difficult to pull off against this opponent, even if he were adept with the art, and you got yourself an _easily_ S ranked opponent. Maybe even SS ranked…

Minato Hiraishin'd to the first kunai that had flown through its target, grasping it in his hand before flicking his wrist to re-send the kunai back at Tobi. He repeated this over and over with every thrown kunai, maintaining a sustained barrage on Tobi for a full five seconds, teleporting and throwing over a thousand kunai in that time frame. A thousand flashes was about Minato's limit in such a short amount of time as not even he could avoid vertigo if he tried to keep that same pace much longer.

Knowing he was reaching his limit on Hiraishin, called out for a little aid, "Kushina, _now!"_

Kushina responded to her beloved's request with a barrage of her own thrown at Tobi, in the form her chakra chains. The first chain slipped through her opponent. The second, however, met success with a hearty ' _THWUMP!'_ as Tobi was launched in the opposite direction.

Minato saw his opportunity and used Shunshin to close the gap quickly, still not recovered enough to resume a Hiraishin attack… but it was enough due to Tobi's obviously less than effective defensive position. Minato quickly tagged Tobi on the shoulder before running, taking cover as Tobi attempted to roll out of his trajectory to regain his feet. Flipping backwards, the balls of Tobi's feet dug into the ground as he slip backwards another fifteen feet before stopping, gouging small trenches into the earth.

' _Seems whatever that technique is can only be maintained for about 5 to 6 seconds…"_ Minato thought to himself, recalling his observations over the last half minute.

' _This could be bad…'_ Thought Tobi as he realized the significance of the touch he felt from his blonde haired nemesis. "Ohhhhh! Tobi's been told that he should tell if he's been touched by strange men…" Tobi attempted to keep Minato from thinking he was worried in any way, by using playful banter.

Tobi couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, though no one could see this, in surprise as a number of thin tornados blasted into being around him.

" _Futon: Kamikaze!" (Wind Release: Divine Wind!)_ The voice of Kushina called from the side, with her hands held in the position for wind release, her children still held within the crooks of her arms.

Tobi funneled chakra to his feet to maintain his grip on the earth, but the wind just took a chunk of the earth with him. The maelstrom whipped him and the clod of earth off the ground and buffeted him in between the whirlwinds as they spun around each other and intertwined as if the swirling vortexes were in the act of furious – and destructive – lovemaking.

As if this wasn't occupying Tobi enough, Minato added to the mix with " _Katon: Hibashiri!"_ _(Fire Release: Running Fire!)_ Minato completed one of the combination techniques that he loved performing with his wife, watching as the fire ran itself in a circle through the tornado ring, causing the tornados to merge into one large barreling monster vortex that quickly turned into a roiling, blistering inferno that threatened to turn the entire landscape unto glass – with Tobi at the center.

Tobi just stood there, floating in the middle of the flaming hurricane, unable to move as it was taking all his concentration to maintain his immaterialism, and thus, his life.

Minato was _not_ going to waste this time and formed a Rasengan in his hand and counted to five. Once he hit five seconds in his mind, he cancelled his jutsu then vanished and reappeared behind Tobi and quickly thrust the swirling blue vortex ball into the already battered ninja's back. Tobi shot out of the air and into the ground like a bullet from a gun. Minato landed next to Tobi and quickly placed his hands on Tobi before he intoned " _Keiyaku Fuin!"_ ( _Contract Release!_ ) _._

Tobi realized that this battle was lost for him the moment he felt his control of the Kyuubi leave him. "This isn't over, Namikaze! I will return for what is mine, and I will leave Konoha a smoking crater in the process." As he finished his last word, another swirl of air and bent space rent the air around him and he was gone, retreating for the time being to lick his wounds.

"Hurry up, gaki! My hide can't take this burning much longer!" Gamabunta shouted. The Kyuubi's chakra was corrosive, even by the standards of Gamabunta's hardened skin.

"Got it, Bunta! The Kyuubi is no longer being controlled."

Sure enough, as Gamabunta looked down, the Sharingan that overlaid the Kyuubi's eyes faded to nothing as the demon was released from his enslavement. The Kyuubi stopped struggling for a moment, before he roared and flared its chakra to new heights its all-consuming rage, before swinging all nine of his tails as one and pegging Gamabunta directly in the side of the face.

"GAHHHHHHH!" Gamabunta was launched off the Kyuubi and dispelled midair.

The Kyuubi seemed to swell in size as his rage increased the more he realized his situation. ' _A_ human _was able to control_ ME _, the King of the Bijuu! Unforgivable! I will paint this place with human blood!'_ It roared in defiance and fury before looking for its first target.

Its eyes landed on Kushina with her two children. The King of Bijuu snarled and launched his tails at Kushina, but retracted them moments later to swat Minato from the air as he attempted to land double Rasengans in the Kyuubi's side.

" _Kongo Fusa!" (Adamantine Sealing Chains!)_

Chains slammed across the Kyuubi in a crisscrossed network before large spikes forged from Kushina's chakra staked themselves into the links of the chains at regular intervals, effectively forcing the Kyuubi back to the ground before a large blue barrier appeared around the Kyuubi, hopefully containing it for a while.

"That should hold it." Kushina said, tiredness and pain evident in her voice. Minato appeared next to her and wrapped her and his children in a brief hug, glad that they were alright – or at least as alright as they could be, considering his wife was still dying. He knew the only reason she hadn't died yet was because of her Uzumaki chakra and their longevity, but she was burning through that at an incredible rate.

"Minato… I'm dying…"

"I know…" Minato's said quietly, his normally quite stoic face now showed all the anguish and helplessness he felt.

"Seal the demon in me, Minato-kun. I will take it away with me. Our children don't need that burden…" Her eyes pleaded with her husband to spare their children's future anguish.

Minato sighed in misery as he replied, "I wish it were that simple, Kushina. I really do. But that masked shinobi plainly stated his intent to see Konoha burn and the demon's power may yet be needed to stop him. As a father, I want nothing more to see my children grow up happy and as peacefully as can be, but as a Hokage, I _must_ ensure Konoha's survival. Who else could I trust but my own flesh and blood? I will leave a message for Hiruzen explaining the situation and my wishes for our sons to be seen as the heroes they should be recognized as… but the Kyuubi _will_ be split between them and sealed. I am so sorry, Kushina."

Tears splattered against his chest, falling from his despairing wife's eyes. She wouldn't meet his gaze, but quietly said, "I know, but I had to try, for _their_ sake…"

The Kyuubi, unbeknownst to the humans in front of him, had heard their entire conversation, and being the intelligent being that he was, understand their intent to re-seal him inside the two infants. And that was enough for the Kyuubi to decide his next targets: the two newborns _had_ to die. ' _I just got out of that miserable hellhole. I_ am not _going back in, even if I have to slaughter children to ensure it!'_

The Kyuubi began to gather energy quickly, concentrating _so much power_ into it nine tails. The power built upon itself in countless iterations. Having been inside Kushina, and repeatedly restrained by her, he knew all too well the strength of her barriers. The Kyuubi forced even more energy into the appendages until it felt like they were going to split from the pressure. He intertwined the nine tails into one braided, massive spear of crimson, corrosive fur and twisted them together, building further tension and power.

Then he let fly.

With a roar of effort, the Kyuubi thrust forth his attack, aiming straight for the two bundles held in Kushina's arms. Minato and Kushina looked up from their conversation in shock as the barrier fluctuated on impact, but relaxed slightly as the barrier held. But the Kyuubi wasn't done yet… That was just the initial impact to stagger the shield. The intertwined tails began spinning faster and faster as the purpose of the tension placed on the limbs became clear: the tails did not so much form a spear, as they did a _drill_. Chakra sparks flew from the barrier in reckless abandon as the barrier tried to resist, but it was for naught.

"That's not possible!" Kushina shouted, as the barrier began to shriek from the strain. Then the cracks appeared…

With an earsplitting _CRAAACK,_ the barrier splintered around the focal point of the drilling tails, and with a victorious, animalistic war cry, the Kyuubi forced his tails through and the barrier came crashing down. The tails sped for all they were worth towards to two kids, the parents finally registering that the barrier had failed – something that Kushina had previously been proud to say had never happened before.

The pair turned as one to shield their precious cargo... and with a sickening squelch a tail pierced through them both, narrowly missing Naruto's right side.

"GYAAAAAAAAA" both parents yelled in agony.

It was at this point that the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, arrived along with a contingent of ANBU operatives. He had only been informed minutes ago that the Yondaime had gone off to fight the Kyuubi alone, and scrambled any ANBU around him to follow him as he pursued Minato to help against the mightiest of demons.

"Kami-sama, _no._ Minato-kun….?" The Sandaime's eyes held grim sadness for the sight he beheld. Naruto began to cry as he sensed the pain and tension around him, shortly followed by Shinji's wails as he sensed his brother's distress.

"Sandaime-sama! Hiruzen… I… uh… regrettably must hand the reigns back to you. Take care of Konoha for me. I was going to leave a message for you but it appears there's no time. I'm sealing the Kyuubi into my sons and taking whatever is left to Shinigami-sama with me. I don't have time to explain everything, but I want it known that these two are to be honored for the sacrifices that they are making for Konoha's protection! _Please!"_

"Minato! Enough! I am old, so let _me_ do this! You don't need to leave them behind!"

Minato let out a bemused laugh, "Hiruzen… You are the Professor, I know, but not even you have my expertise with Fuinjutsu. I am afraid this technique is beyond your current ability…"

Clashes rang out as the ANBU that had accompanied the Sandaime were keeping the other tails and the Kyuubi's attention held at bay. Minato felt his life slowly start to ebb away along with the blood pouring from the opening where the Kyuubi's tail still resided.

"It's time. Kushina-chan, I will place some of our chakra in the seals as well. If we are lucky we may get a chance to talk to our sons once or twice in their life. It's not much, but I hope it's enough… _Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_

A smaller sized orange and black toad emerge from a puff of smoke, looking like a cross between an accordion and the amphibian that he was. "You summoned?" The toad responded dutifully, knowing from the sight that this was serious.

"Yes, Gerotora-san. I am in need of your services. I am going to give you the key to the seals that I'm going to place on Naruto-kun and Shinji-kun. Please come here."

The toad hopped over to Minato and jumped up onto his arm before unravelling his midsection, revealing himself to be some type of living toad scroll. Minato pressed his hand to his midsection, coating his hand with his own life's blood. He pressed this same hand to the scroll and concentrated. The blood from his hand began to deposit itself onto the scroll rapidly as Minato mentally drew out the complicated seal using a transcription technique only master level Fuinjutsu users even knew existed. With a glow the seal completed and Gerotora rolled himself back up. The toad bowed a respectful farewell to his summoner to which Minato responded with a nod and a "Thank you, Gerotora-san. Please keep it safe." The toad nodded affirmatively quickly before disappearing back to the Toad realm.

Steeling his will, and looking one last time into his wife's eyes, he sped thought the necessary hand seals before placing a hand on each of his children's stomachs, expelling his command and will through his chakra and into the seals forming on their abdomens.

" _Fuinjutsu: Shiki Fujin!" (Sealing Technique: Dead Demon Consuming Seal!)_

The Kyuubi's tail as well as the two sacrifices began to glow, and a bluish grey spectral arm shot from Minato's back and speared into the Kyuubi's chest. The Kyuubi froze. Being an entity composed of chakra he could see exactly what, or _who_ had been summoned. The ghastly form of the Shinigami loomed over Minato's form as the summoned deity spoke: "The contract has been made. Let it be so." The god's voice boomed through the night with authority and finality. The spectral hand that had attached itself to the Kyuubi's being began to retract pulling the chakra that made up the Kyuubi's solidified body towards the Shinigami. As the Kyuubi drew closer and closer to the deity the draining rate began to sharply increase and the Shinigami placed each of his hands over Minato's and began to funnel the Yang chakra into Naruto and the Yin chakra into Shinji.

Both children wailed in discomfort as veritable oceans of chakra were funneled into their still forming coils, causing them to swell and thicken in an attempt to stabilize the load. After what seemed like hours, but in reality was merely a minute or so, the chakra began to slow to a trickle before stopping. The Kyuubi's, or what was left of its body stared at Minato with a look of pure hatred before it was sucked into the Shinigami's waiting maw. Minato knew it wasn't dead. You can't kill a being of chakra, but the mind and chakra was now residing in a new prison within his kids… and Konoha was safe for now…

He could rest.

The Shinigami looked at his summoner with mild interest. As a deity, he knew the sacrifice that had been made, and while he would _like_ to help a nice guy out, order _must_ be maintained, and it was his own law that any summoner of the Shinigami would pay his soul as tribute for the summons. He couldn't have people summoning him away from his duties, you know reaping souls and all, to deal with human affairs. And so it was with a sad heart, although you would never know it with the sadistic looking grin with a mouth full of pointy demonic-looking teeth, he pulled out his divine dagger given to him by Kami-sama for ritualistic sealing and cut thread of Minato's soul, dislodging it from his body. Minato's spirit hung in the air for mere moments before it followed the Kyuubi's body into the Shinigami's awaiting jaws.

Minato's body began to fall, along with Kushina since she was too weak to support herself and her now deceased husbands frame. Sarutobi was there in an instant supporting both as he gently lowered the two to the ground. Kushina wept for her husband and knew she was mere minutes from following him.

With a weak voice, Kushina made her final request: "My wishes are the same as Minato-kun's. Please make sure our boys are seen as the protectors they are, and not as the demons most Jinchuuriki are seen as. Minato and I both have scrolls we made for our kids… *cough*… should something like this happen, as most clan head do when they have kids. Please make sure… *cough*… these scrolls find their way to Naruto-kun and Shinji-kun when the time is right. We both trust you with this…*cough*… Sarutobi-jiji... *cough*… Thank you…"

And then it was, with a weak smile on her face that the 'Fiery Red Habanero' left this plane of existence.

Sarutobi sighed with a heavy heart as he gently laid the young woman's body next to her husband and gently closed their eyes. He picked up the children from their mother's now cooling embrace and placed the squalling bundles into the crib that their parents had made for them.

"ANBU!"

Eight blurs of darkness assembled in front of him in fluid concert. They all saluted and sounded as one, as a trained military unit: "Hokage-sama, sir!"

"Everything you've seen here is now classified S-class security and the punishment for revealing anything without my consent will be as such! I trust I am understood?" He flared his chakra to make absolutely sure there would be no mistaking the order.

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Take the children to Hokage Manor and tell the staff to make sure they are attended to. I will figure out what to do with them once things have settled down."

With the orders received, two ANBU retrieved the whimpering children before joining the other ANBU and disappearing via Shunshin.

* * *

~*~*~*~*~*~*2 YEARS HAVE PASSED*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was the middle of the night at the Konoha Will of Fire Orphanage. If one were to look into the windows of the sprawling two story building, one would see empty facilities on the bottom floor, including a cafeteria, several rooms that looked they were used for recreation, and several administration offices. On the top story, however, most of the rooms were where the orphanage occupants slept for the night. All the boys slept in one large room and all the girls in another – except for two boys.

There were two boys, two years of age each, that had their own room together. At first glance, you might think these two were favored, being given their own room and all, but that line of thought would be mistaken. Anyone that spent any time in the orphanage during the day would know that these two were in this room to keep them away from everyone else, as if by associating at all with the two "demons" would somehow infect them.

If one were to look into the room in which these two currently slept, you would find two boys, one with vibrant yellow hair and one with almost offensively red hair, both in identical spiky manes that ran wild. Both boys sported marks that looked almost as if they had been scratched on each cheek, giving them a "whiskered" appearance.

The yellow haired boy slept soundly, sprawled out across the futon they shared. The crimson haired one, however, was not sleeping soundly as he tossed and turned, forehead glistening with sweat and emitting soft growls as if he were in pain. Images flashed in his head, although not like images in a dream where you are somewhat in control. This was more like flashes of memory and feeling and… pain.

 _Memories of a young boy riding his new bike for the first time…_

 _Memories of his mother's death from a gunshot wound to the head…_

 _Memories of going to school and being picked on by the other kids…_

 _Memories of a young man getting into fights constantly to vent his anger and frustration with the world…_

 _Memories of his first girlfriend and first kiss… and breakup…_

 _Memories of that same young man finding his confidence in himself and reigning in his emotions to begin to structure his life…_

 _Memories of the now grown man putting aside his goals to take care of his ailing father only to eventually watching him succumb to illness…_

 _And then, memories of water and light, fire and pain. The feeling of knowing he was about to die. Memories of being rescued by an impossible source and being told he was being issued a new life._

Shinji unknowingly bumped his older brother, causing him to awaken. Naruto blinked away some of the sleep in his eyes before looking to find the cause of his rude awakening. Naruto saw his brother and only friend thrashing in his sleep and grabbed his shoulder and began to shake him.

"Chiji! Wake! Chiji! Wake!" Naruto had a hard time saying 'Shinji' and often left out the 'n' in the name and used a 'ch' sound instead of a 'sh' sound. Give him a break. He's two for fucks sake.

Shinji stirred, his breathing slowing down and his movements stopping. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at his brother. "Wha…?" He croaked out.

"Chiji OK?" Naruto's face showed his concern for his brother.

"It's okay, Naruto. Go back to sleep." Shinji's vocabulary and grammar were better than Naruto's, but not by a whole lot. His usage had taken a giant upswing though in the past week since he began having these nightmares, although they weren't always nightmares. But he had learned things that he knew he should not know and how to relate words to things and actions. He just needed to learn the words themselves, but the caretakers of the orphanage were less then forthcoming with any kind of interaction at all besides feeding them maybe once or twice a day, let alone answering any of his garbled questions.

And so Shinji had been teaching Naruto some of this language he suddenly seemed to be more familiar with. In his mind, he called it 'English', and he knew nobody else around that he had heard speaking seemed to speak anything like this language. He had begun to teach Naruto some of the words as he learned them himself, both as something to keep the boredom away and as a way to communicate with his brother.

"OK, Chiji. 'Nite." Naruto laid back down and closed his eyes.

Shinji had experienced enough of the these nights that involved remembering being someone else in another life that he knew he still had many more nights to go. In one of the memories, some bizarre and to some degree scary, crystal lady – at least the self that he remembered being at that time thought of her as a lady – had said he would have nights like these for about a year, to 'integrate' himself into…. himself. ' _Confusing…'_

There was nothing for it but to slug it out and see what happens. He couldn't do anything to change his situation and none of the adults listened to him or his brother and if they paid any attention to them it was to yell and sling insults at them before locking them alone in their room.

Shinji flipped his ragged pillow over to hopefully put his head on a dry side and attempted to drift back to sleep – hopefully a restful one this time…

* * *

~*~*~*~* 1 YEAR HAS PASSED*~*~*~*~

Shinji, or 'Nick" as he now knew he used to be, looked at his brother, Naruto. Naruto had pulled a chair over the window to stand on so he could look out the window. He was watching all the other orphanage children playing outside in the large front yard, with the caretakers watching over them and sometimes playing with them.

"Aniki… Why can't we play with other kids...?" Naruto pressed his nose to the window as he looked outside longingly. Even though Naruto was technically the older brother, Shinji acted much older and Naruto just felt like Shinji must be the older one.

"Because the grownups see us as something we are not and are scared…" Shinji's eyes narrowed as he thought about the abuse, and he now knew enough about the 'real world' from his previous life to recognize abuse when he saw it. It lit his insides on fire, but he was currently working on a way to change that…. He just needed to find a way to get in to see the Hokage.

Most shockingly to Shinji, something had been revealed during his 'integration'. Throughout all the memories, both good and bad, one thing he had forgotten about came to the surface. In high school and even into college, he had been an avid reader of manga, and had read one called 'Naruto'. He wanted to slap himself in the face when he realized that the name Safaia had mentioned – Jiraiya - was the Jiraiya from the manga. At first he thought it was some strange coincidence of naming. Maybe Jiraiya was a common name in Japanese, as he had figured out that the language these people spoke was some wonky dialect of Japanese. But, naturally with his luck, this was shown not to be the case, namely with his blonde haired, blue eyed brother named 'Naruto' and the village being named 'Konohagakure'.

 _HE WAS IN A FUCKING MANGA!_

According to common sense, this was impossible, or so he thought. But then another realization set in after a bit of actually thinking about it: This was a world of ninjas and mercenaries and war. In the manga, this world seemed cool with all its jutsu and martial arts, but in reality these things all lead to death. It was an integral part of a ninja's job, to kill.

Shinji had for a time thought that maybe he would just be a civilian and try avoiding the downside of interacting with shinobi, namely getting stabbed, or fried, or decapitated, or… well, you get point… However, after contemplating the issue for some time, he realized that there was no way he couldn't be a ninja. There was one simple reason: Naruto would most definitely become a ninja. And despite all the other factors, his other life, etc… Shinji _did_ love his new brother. Integrating the other life didn't take away the life he already had experienced with his brother, it just gave him more information to work with.

If Naruto was going to be a ninja, then so would Shinji, if for no other reason than to protect the most important person to him. If Naruto wanted to become Hokage as the manga Naruto had wanted, then Shinji would be the pillar supporting the drive towards that goal and make sure his brother lived to see his dream.

And so that lead to where Shinji's head was at now. First thing first: get out of this abomination of a child care facility. Then, the next thing was to acquire materials and training to begin to get to know what he could do.

He knew a few things about his situation. He knew he and Naruto were both Jinchuuriki. This was easy to figure out with all the mutterings from the caretakers, and he had gotten much better in the last year at understanding the language being spoken. He spoke mainly English with Naruto, although he taught him the Japanese dialect as well, using English mainly so that they could talk privately without the caretakers listening in.

He also knew that Kakashi was most likely checking in on them from time to time. The problem was Kakashi was a highly trained shinobi and Shinji's untrained senses would never be able to tell when he was there or wasn't. So if he couldn't get Kakashi's attention specifically, he would have to get attention on a wider scale. Honestly, that worked for him better than trying something small. He knew that he, as a Jinchuuriki, was a highly valuable asset to the village. As such, there would be orders to ensure his safety. If he created a small scene, he would piss people off and if they thought they could get away with it, they may try to kill him right there. If he, on the other hand, created a huge clusterfuck of a mess, like say, the caretakers screaming that the Kyuubi has been released, he may get Kakashi or even Sarutobi himself to come check it out.

The problem was: how does one create mayhem on that scale when he can't even get out of this damnable room!

He knew that one thing that was _sure_ to bring people running was if he could use the Kyuubi's chakra. He could already mold his own. Some people would say he was a genius being able to mold chakra, or even be able to tell it was there, at such a young age. Shinji didn't find it to be all that surprising. For him, it was a simple matter of comparison. He had lived many years with _no chakra_ at all, and now, suddenly he was in a body pumped full of the stuff. All he had to do was notice the difference and with a little practice figure out how to access the portion that was different. It only took about a week of various methods to attempt to access his chakra and now it came fairly easily. He couldn't _do_ anything with it yet, but it was there.

He knew from his information that Naruto had accessed his inner world through meditation to talk to the Kyuubi. He figured if he could get the Kyuubi to help, then that would be the easiest way to get his goals accomplished.

"Naruto… I'm going to try something. Don't panic if weird things happen, ok?"

Naruto looked at his brother with wide eyes.

"What'cha gonna do, aniki?"

"I'm going to try a thing called 'meditation'. For this, I will need you to be quite though. Think you can handle that, ototo?"

Naruto mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing away the key and Shinji gave his brother an appreciative smile before Shinji closed his eyes and slowly regulated his breathing into a slow rhythm.

' _Breath in…'_

' _Breath out…'_

Slowly, Shinji began to relax and within a few minutes felt a small tug that felt like it was coming from the back of his consciousness. Going with the flow, he mentally let go and let the tug take him where it wanted and Shinji felt a sensation like he was being pulled into the depths of a large body of water, only without the suffocation, as he could still breathe.

* * *

~~~~Mindscape~~~~

When the sensation left him, Shinji opened his eyes. He stood in a large hallway with lush, soft, red carpeting and large mural paintings along the length of the hall. Shinji began walking as he realized this was his inner consciousness. Each of the paintings he passed held a scene from either this life or his last.

' _Kami, I'm_ literally _walking down memory lane…"_

Suddenly the hallway met a four way intersection. Shinji was about to just guess when he heard a sound like something large moving down the hallway straight in front of him.

" _Guess we see what's behind curtain number 1?"_

He walked for what felt like an eternity, although he knew it couldn't have been more than a couple minutes. Finally, the hallway ended, but it didn't end in a room necessarily. It ended abruptly as if the tunnel were suspended in space, everything beyond the point at which he stood was pitch black.

Looking around, Shinji noticed what look like some kind of panel on the left side and looked at it more closely. The screen had blue text on a black background and it read: SPEAK YOUR NAME.

' _Well, that's simple enough...'_

"Uzumaki Shinji."

The panel chirped and new text populated the screen: "Would you like directory assistance?"

Not seeing any buttons, Shinji guessed he was supposed to say what he wanted. "Um… Yes, please?"

' _What the hell is wrong with my head… I_ hate _talking with directory assistance people.'_

"May I be of service, my Lord?"

Spinning around in surprise, Nick came face to face with a practical manifestation of 'Alfred' from the Batman series. Not literally, but he distinctly had that British butler thing going for him.

"Whoa!? Who the hell are you!?"

"My name is Jarvis, Sir."

Laughing, Shinji just shook his head. "You mean from Iron Man? Man, I needed to get out more in my other life."

"This is your head, Sir. I'm just your guide to yourself. Would you prefer another appearance?"

"Wait, you can do th—of course you can do that. It's my head. Dumb question. Hmmm. How about Jessica Alba. WAIT! If I make you someone I find hot, does that make me narcissistic for liking myself?"

Jarvis just rolled his eyes at Shinji's antics.

"No, that's ok. You can stay the way you are."

"Very well, Sir. Were you trying to access this room?"

"Yeah. What's up with the 'mysterious darkness' here?" He made air quotation marks when he said 'mysterious darkness'.

"This is the room where _it_ is kept."

" _It?_ Ohhhhh, you must mean Kurama. Don't worry. If he's anything like the manga then he's just an oversized furball in need of a friend and tummy scratch, haha."

"Very well, Sir. I'll turn on the lights." The moment Jarvis said "lights", the sound of churning gears could be heard in the background and light began to slowly pour into the blackness. It didn't seem to have a source though, as it suddenly went from the blackest of nights to the middle of the day in the mental chamber.

The first thing Shinji noticed was: Trees. Lots and lots of trees. There was a whole forest in his fucking mind! A stair way began to materialize trailing from the end of the hallway to the forest floor. Shinji walked down the stairs and entered the forest via the easily visible pathway available. Not far in, the forest gave way to a large clearing. At the center of the clearing was a giant cage, hundreds of feet tall, with trees at the four corners, much larger than any of the tree he had seen so far. In between the trees, there were large poles made out of metal and a large wooden beam across the top and a center piece that had a piece of paper stuck to it with the kanji for 'Seal' written on it.

Inside the cage was a giant mass of red and black fur that pulsed with potent and dense energy in time with it's breath.

"Kyuubi."

The breathing stopped for a split second before resuming and a large vibrating hum that slowly turned into a low, menacing growl emanated from the mountain sized fox. Red, slitted eyes appeared in the middle of the mass of fur.

" **And so my jailer makes an appearance… To what do I owe this…** _ **honor?**_ 'Honor' was delivered by the Kyuubi with such dripping disdain that Shinji almost wanted to leave right then, but he stuck it out.

"Well… First of all, I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Uzumaki Shinji. It seems we will be spending some time together. What's your name?"

Shinji already knew his name, but he needed to start somewhere.

" **You already know my name."**

"Yes, but I would like to hear it from you." Shinji just smiled slightly up at the terrifying creature, secretly pissing himself inside, but trying to keep it calm.

" **Kyuubi."**

Shinji wagged his finger playfully at Kurama. "That's not your name! If anything, that's a title."

" **A human does not need to know the name of the King of Bijuu. Your lives are insignificant and names have power. I will not give power over me to something as insignificant and fleeting as a human."**

"Is it John? Is it Ichigo? Oh, I know! Your name is Falcore, right? You look like a big, red Falcore!"

The Kyuubi growled in irritation. He knew when he was being messed with. And he _was not_ going to be messed with by someone that looked barely older than an infant.

" **Don't toy with me, whelp! You are nothing! I could** _ **breathe**_ **on you and kill you! You wouldn't even be a stain on the ground! You will** _ **never**_ **just guess the name of the King of the most powerful beings in the world!"**

"Never? That sounds like a challenge!? Tell you what… Let's make a bet! I get three guesses to guess your name. If I guess it, you owe me a favor. If I don't guess it, I'll owe you a favor. Minus tearing the seal off of course. I know that would kill me and I'm not that stupid. What do you say?"

Kurama remained silent as he thought about it. There was no way that this kid was going to guess his name and having a free favor in the bank could only help him in his future endeavors to get free. What did he have to lose?

" **Deal. It's your loss."**

"Is it Rover?"

" **No."**

"Is it Spike?"

" **No."**

Shinji was having a hard time not laughing. Kurama had no idea that he was being messed with.

"Hmmm. Only one guess left… What would you name a fox king? Hmmm…" Scrunching up his face as if he were concentrating a great deal, he paced back and forth in front of the cage. "Oh! I know! I had this friend that had a fox stuffed animal and he gave it a name!"

" **Enough with the human nonsense! Just make the damned guess and leave!"** Kurama growled as he lost his patience.

"He named it Kurama! That's what he called it!" Shinji smiled gleefully as he knew already that he won the bet.

Kurama was like a statue, his eyes narrowed. This situation was impossible. There was right at zero chance that his name could be guessed in this situation. No one knew his name, because he never _told_ anyone his name. Only nine beings had ever known his name: the Rikudo Sennin and the eight other Bijuu. The sage was dead and his Bijuu brethren would never give out another Bijuu's name without permission. It was one thing all the Bijuu agreed on.

" **You cheated."**

"Well, of course I did. I'm going to be a ninja. But you made the deal. Would you like to know how I cheated?"

" **NO!** **Just name your favor and leave my presence!"**

"Very well, but you and I are going to have to talk eventually, Kurama. Your chakra. I want the use of your chakra for a short time."

" **You already have my chakra… What are you, stupid? That's the whole point of me being in this Kami-damned seal is SO YOU CAN TAKE MY CHAKRA!"**

"I know that… but I don't see you as a weapon, and neither will Naruto when he makes it into his inner world to talk to you. We see you as you, Kurama. And friends don't steal from each other. Don't get me wrong. If I or Naruto are about to die, then yes, I will take it if you won't offer it willingly. That's simply self-preservation, not greed. But I will not take your chakra without permission otherwise. I can promise you that."

" **Your promises mean less than nothing to me, human child. You have no power. You have no strength of your own. You humans steal what power you can get your grubby little hands on like leeches. You are nothing but parasites to this world. If nothing else, I am honorable, and I will give you the use of my chakra this once. Heed my words, human: Don't come here again."**

Ignoring Kurama, Shinji responded: "Be seeing ya, Kurama! Don't worry! We're going to be the best of buddies!" Shinji gave Kurama a wide toothy smile. Kurama roared and Shinji found himself ejected out of his reverie.

As he came to, Shinji opened his eyes to see Naruto with his face mere centimeters from his own, making faces at him while Naruto thought he was otherwise occupied.

"Boo!"

"Uwaaah!" Naruto fell onto his backside in a manner that anyone would have found adorable. "That's mean! Mean Aniki!"

"I'm not the one that was making faces at me while I was meditating, was I? Who was that?"

Naruto just turned his face way from his brother as he pouted stubbornly.

"Ok. Naruto, I'm going to do something that's probably going to bring a lot of scary people here. I want you in the corner of the room so you don't get hurt." Shinji pointed to the corner he wanted Naruto in.

"Aniki… I don't want you hurt…" Naruto was worried about his brother. The caretakers already didn't like them and made life a living hell for them whenever they had the chance, which was often.

"It's ok, Naruto. They can't do anything too bad. They need us. You'll find out why eventually."

With that said, Shinji went over to the door and locked it. Then he moved to the center of the room. He focused inward towards his chakra. He felt it clearly. Since he had just been to see Kurama, he knew exactly which portion was Kurama's just by the feel of it and gathered a small amount of it to his chakra center. It was difficult. It seemed that the more chakra you had, the more difficult it was to gather easily handled amounts as more wanted to flow the moment you opened a channel. It was like trying to open a high pressure fire hose to fill a coffee cup full of water: complete overkill.

But he did it, just barely. Sweat beaded on his brow in his concentration. When he gathered what he guessed was enough, he _tugged_ hard on the chakra. A large chunk of chakra came away from the mass and his chakra center seemed to heat up as it fed on the extremely potent chakra. Shinji let the chakra permeate his system. As it did, Shinji's features began to change: His whisker marks deepened, his teeth lengthened to form sharp canines that extend to his bottom lip, his nails grew into formidable looking claws, and his hair seemed to come alive and lengthen down his back. Chakra leaked into the visible spectrum and it seemed like Shinji was almost on fire as the vile chakra blasted into being.

With a mighty roar, Shinji gathered all the chakra to his middle and then released it outwards in front of him. Shinji had been facing the window side of the room, away from his brother. All the windows shattered almost immediately and glass blew outwards as a fine, yet violent, dust. The walls began to crack next and finally began to come away in big chunks as the roar continued.

Naruto whimpered in the corner with his ears covered as he watched his Aniki turn into this beast. He was so confused and scared. What just happened?

As Shinji felt the chakra ebb away, he ceased his roar. As he felt the last of the powerful surge leave him, he felt momentarily dizzy and collapsed onto his backside on the ground, breathing heavily.

"There… I think that should do it…"

Naruto was scared, but his love for his brother made him speak. "Aniki…"

Shinji cringed internally. His brother's voice was soft and so obviously laced with fear. It was quivering.

"Yeah, Naruto. I'm fine. I'll explain what you saw sometime later, ok? I have a feeling some people are going to be here very soon." As the dizziness faded, Shinji sat back up shaking his head.

As soon as he sat up, sirens rang out through the village. An instant later four blurs appeared in front of them, ninja dressed in black, each with unique masks covering their faces. One of them moved forward, unsheathing a kunai and moving slowly towards Shinji. "I won't let you harm the village, demon. I'll kill you first!"

"Stand down! Do not harm him! I gave you an order, soldier! Stand down now!" Another blur appeared, this one looked the same as the others, except that he wore a dog mask and had shockingly silver hair.

"Hokage-sama is on his way and has said he will handle this personally."

All four of the other ANBU bowed to their captain and backed off.

A few moments later, the Sandaime appeared in a shun-shin with his robes on and a pipe in his mouth, puffing as if he didn't have a care in the world. He looked at the devastation of the room and looked at the two Jinchuuriki before taking the pipe out of his mouth and studying Shinji, since it was Shinji that was at this moment striding up to him like he wasn't the fucking Hokage.

Shinji knew it was now or never. He stopped about three feet in front of the Hokage.

"Shinji-kun? Are you the one who did this?"

"Yes. I needed to get either you or Kakashi-san's attention." He looked at Kakashi in his dog mask, seeing the slight tells that told him Kakashi had tensed up. Nobody should know who the ANBU were, outside of fellow ANBU. A three year old child _definitely_ should not know.

The first thing the Hokage noted was the boy's speech. He spoke like an adult and had sharp eyes as if he were wise to the world. Such a thing was impossible at such a young age and so he disregarded it for the time being.

"And blowing off the side of a building is better than just asking to see me? I do have an office you know, complete with appointments and staff to schedule you."

"Would your staff schedule you an appointment with the Kyuubi? I know that the caretakers here most definitely would not pass along any message I gave them. They don't even like to feed us let alone run errands for us!"

Hiruzen's eyes widened at the first remark and narrowed at the last. Admittedly, he knew the boys didn't have the best situation one could ask for, but he was at least assured they were safe and all their basics needs were taken care of. That was what the Matron of this establishment had reported many times to him directly. To Hiruzen's shame, he hadn't been over to see the boys personally in a while now, due to the duties required of being the Hokage. He had no idea they weren't being fed properly.

He looked over to Naruto. "Naruto." He said softly, almost grandfather-like. "Naruto, do me a favor and lift your shirt. I need to see something."

Naruto looked at his brother and Shinji just nodded back to him, assuring his little brother that it would be ok.

In the back of the Sandaime's mind, he was both sad that Naruto didn't trust him not to want to hurt him, but at the same time was glad that he obviously trusted his brother implicitly.

Naruto lifted his shirt, showing his narrow waistline and clearly visible ribs. It was obvious they were not getting nutrition enough for their growth and development. And that was _exactly_ what his administration was _paying_ the Matron to do. Why, just last week she had been in his office wanting more money to fund her operations.

Both the Hokage's and Kakashi's KI flared as they took in Naruto's malnutrition.

"Thank you, Naruto. You can put your shirt down now. Boys, I'm going to ask you to come with me to my office. We will deal with this there." He turned to Kakashi and spoke lowly, "Bring Tomiko-san to my office as well. If she resists, bring me her head."

Bowing, Kakashi vanished, his KI leaving no illusions to the fact that he _hoped_ the Matron resisted.

Hiruzen walked over to the two boys and picked each of them up in one arm before nodding to his remaining ANBU. They all left the wrecked orphanage room in a blur and swirl of leaves.

* * *

~~~~Time: 6:34 PM ~~~~ Location: Hokage Tower~~~

The sun was now setting in Fire Country, casting its final glorious rays across the sky in a display of crimson and amber brilliance. Unfortunately, the occupants of the Hokage's office were missing the event, as they had more important issues to deal with at the moment.

Sarutobi Hiruzen sat in his large leather, padded armchair, puffing on his pipe absentmindedly as he contemplated the two boys seated in front of his desk. Many things were going to through his head. He was disturbed that Shinji had somehow managed to utilize the Kyuubi's chakra, despite the fact that no harm seemed to have been done to the boy. He needed to make sure the seal wasn't in danger of breaking or measures would need to be taken for the safety of the village.

The boys' malnutrition was also on his mind. It infuriated him that people could do this kind of thing to mere children, but he wasn't naïve. No, his many years as a shinobi and a Hokage had shown him over and over just how cruel the human race could be. But he also knew that humanity had just as much good in it as it had bad.

The nutrition situation would need to be rectified quickly, but more worrying was the boys' living arrangements. The orphanage was obviously no longer an option, so it appeared that he needed to find someone willing to take them in. That in and of itself would be a giant headache. One of two things would most likely happen: 1) He would not be able to find anyone willing to take in the Kyuubi's containers, either out of fear or out of hatred for the Kyuubi, or 2) he _would_ find someone to take them in, but only because they wanted to use and abuse the fact that the children were the heirs to the Namikaze legacy, including all the amassed riches of the clan along with all of its jutsu, most importantly, the _Hiraishin_. Sarutobi knew there were people who would sacrifice their firstborn children to get their hands on that knowledge.

' _Well, first thing's first. I need to make sure that seal is intact and not in danger of collapsing.'_ The Sandaime thought.

"Shinji. I need to ask you some questions, and it is very important that you answer me honestly. Do you understand what I am saying?" The Hokage studied the small, crimson haired toddler that was obviously much wiser than his appallingly small number of years would have one believe.

"Yes, Hokage-jiji."

"Ok. How did you access the Kyuubi's chakra? You are much too young to do so and haven't been trained, so I'm a bit worried for you…" Hiruzen sounded like a concerned grandfather, rather than a military leader.

"Well… that is both simple and complicated. I asked the Kyuubi to use his chakra, and he said no, and then I made a bet with him with his chakra being the prize if I won… and I won." Shinji shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as if he were merely discussing Sunday brunch. "He kept his word."

The Sandaime's brow knitted together as he contemplated the information he was just given.

"I see… Shinji, I'm going to have to ask you not to use the Kyuubi's chakra again for now. It's very dangerous and you have not been trained to handle that amount of chakra, not to mention the chakra itself might hurt you."

Shinji shook his head and said, "I told the Kyuubi I wouldn't use his chakra without his permission. He's not a tool and he is actually very intelligent and has feelings. I will treat him as any other person, a friend even if I can get him to quit being such a grouch…"

"For a three year old, you seem to know a lot about these things… you seem to know more about things in general than any three year old should be possible to know, in fact. Either you're a genius, or there's something you're not telling me." The Sandaime frowned and fixed to young boy with a stare. There was no malice behind the look, but he wanted to impress upon the boy that he was not a pushover and _would_ be getting answers, even if it seemed like he was bullying a three year old to do it.

In his head, the only thing that could account for such a rapid growth in intelligence was if the Kyuubi was somehow influencing Shinji. Maybe the seal hadn't been applied properly to Shinji or had weakened and nobody noticed. If that was the case, then he needed to know about it and stop it from going any further and see if it was possible to reinforce the seal. He would need to recall Jiraiya from the field for that…

Shinji looked that Sandaime straight in his eyes. The piercing blue iris's had a certain depth to them. They didn't have the look of wonderment that he found in most small children's eyes. These eyes were focused. "There are many things I haven't told you." Shinji looked over at his brother, who was looking around the office at all the books and pictures and ninja things. "But I suppose I will have to tell you what I know. My goal is to protect Naruto, and to do that I will probably need your help."

"I'm listening…"

Over the next half hour, Shinji filled the Hokage in on who he was, including his other life. He left out certain details about the Sentinel's, since he wasn't sure what information they were alright with people knowing. He also kept Kurama's name to himself, as well. At the end of his tale, the Hokage looked a little incredulous, a little skeptical, but didn't say anything indicating that he believed Shinji was lying. The story seemed to explain how Shinji seemed older than his three year old body would lead a person to believe. But _really!?_ Alternate dimensional beings reaching into another world and plucking a person out and putting them in an infant's body? He knew events that might happen in the future, because in his world it was written as a story?! That can actually happen?! And he had never even heard of these "Sentinel" creatures. He and Enma had discussed the nature of summoning and the different summoning clans on several occasions over the years, and never had he heard anything remotely similar to the information he was being given.

"Jiji, I know what I've told you sounds like some story a kid would make up. Sometimes, even I wonder if I'm not just some crazy kid that dreamed this other life, but no, it's all true. Every word of it. If you call for a Yamanaka to conduct a mind-walk, they can verify everything that I've told you."

"How do you know of the Yamanaka clan jutsu—Ohhh, right… The other life…" Sarutobi suddenly felt like he was 'too old for this shit.' "Very well. I'll see where this goes."

Hiruzen pushed a button on his desk, "Bring me Yamanaka Inoichi immediately!" He released the button. A second later an affirmative response came from the secretary outside of his office.

"Now, while we wait for Inoichi-san, care to discuss this 'help' you want from me in protecting Naruto? You live in a ninja village. Is that not protection in and of itself?"

Shinji just snorted in derision. "Yeah, if I were worried about ninja outside the village more than the ninja and civilians _inside_ the village!" Anger entered the eyes that had up until now been completely calm and collected. "These _people_ treat us like we're animals. They isolate us for something we have no control over and are completely incapable of seeing reason! It's only out of fear that they haven't beaten us physically, although on several occasions Naruto would come back with bruises on his back if he got caught sneaking out of our room."

Shinji took a calming breath to steady himself and resumed, "I'm not asking for a personal guard, although if things in this reality still follow the information from my other world, then you've had Kakashi-san watching over us from time to time, and Yugao-san watching when he was on another mission. What I _need_ is instruction in the ninja arts, and training for Naruto too, since he dreams of being a ninja. I want to be able to protect Naruto with my own abilities… I can speak your language at this point better than some adults, but I don't know how to read it yet. I need instruction on Taijutsu and chakra control. I am also wanting to learn sealing, but that's going to come a bit later. I need to be able to read before I even think of drawing seals. The Sentinels also told me that at some point I will need to seek your student, and Naruto and my godfather, Jiraiya of the Sannin, for instructions related to summoning and sealing."

"Hmmm." The Sandaime nodded his head as he followed Shinji's logic. He was all for giving the boy training. He had been wondering how he was going to approach the boys later about possibly becoming shinobi, and this development basically made that issue a no-brainer: 1) give the boy what he wants, 2) let the boy's own desires drive him to success, 3) let the two boys build bonds within the village, increasing their desire to protect the village, 4) profit. By giving the two Jinchuuriki the training they, or rather _Shinji_ , was asking for, he had a win-win situation in front of him. He liked win-win situations.

"Training is certainly not out of the question. Many clans begin training their own children as soon as they are strong enough to take a stance, but I warn you… training is not a game. You will be trained to take lives, something that will undoubtedly be necessary if you are serious about protecting your brother. I don't get the impression that your… alternate world… required you to kill?" This last part was expressed as a question.

Shinji shook his head no, saying "No, not unless you were military and even then there was a strict protocol for using lethal force. But that won't deter me from doing what is necessary. I doubt killing will ever be _enjoyable_ for me, but if it proves necessary to protect the people I care about, then…" Shinji just shrugged his shoulders at this point, indicating that he would do what needed to be done.

The Hokage nodded his head before turning slightly to pick up a file at the corner of his desk and opening it. He flipped through a few pages that it contained and hummed to himself while in thought.

"Well, for Taijutsu training, the obvious choice to teach you would be Maito Gai… but uh… I'm not entirely sure he knows the meaning of holding back… and for a three year old… eh, probably not a good idea to chance it. Ah…!" Hiruzen's eyes twinkled as they lit upon a name on his list of available shinobi. "Yes, I believe she will do nicely as your first Taijutsu instructor. We'll bring in Gai once you're… um… prepared…" He continued muttering under his breath, "Although I'm not sure one _can_ be prepared for the 'Fires of Youth'…"

At this point the conversation as interrupted as a crash from the back corner of the room drew the two out of their involved conversation to see a blushing wide eyed Naruto staring at them upside down from the ground, a toppled chair next to him. Looking up, they saw the object that Naruto had obviously been attempting to reach – a three pronged kunai that was perched on a small rack on the shelf.

Shinji couldn't help it – he laughed out loud, his normally serious demeanor vanishing in the wake of his mirth. "Ladies and gentlemen! The great and powerful shinobi, Uzumaki Naruto!" he flourished a gesture to Naruto as if showing off a prize.

Naruto folded his arms and pouted at his brother – meanwhile he was still upside down with his ass hanging in the air which just made him look even more ridiculous. Sarutobi was chuckling to himself as he watch the boys interact. Shinji was now tickling the helpless blonde who could do nothing to defend himself, except wriggle and carry on to try and get his aniki to let him go.

Shinji got off of Naruto, letting his brother right himself, and settled back into a more serious countenance. "Ok, Naruto. We're almost done here. I need you to pay attention since Jiji is going to tell us who is going to help us both become great shinobi, OK?"

"Haiii! Aniki, I'm going to be a more awesomer shinobi than everyone else – even you, Aniki! I'll show everyone, then they'll _beg_ me to be Hokage!" Naruto announced with sparkling eyes and grand sweeping hand gestures. The boy was so damn _animated_. If it wasn't so dang cute, Shinji would think it was super annoying.

"Alright, boys. First of all, since you don't have a guardian, this person will also be your guardian for the duration of your training."

"What's a gardenin?" Naruto's puzzled voice interjected.

"A guardian is someone who is responsible for looking after you and making sure you're safe. The wardens at the orphanage were supposed to be your guardians, but obviously they did not do their jobs or we would not be here." Sarutobi answered. "This person is a fully fledged shinobi and as such falls under my direct command. The orphanage was managed by the council, and I'm sorry to say, some members of the council may have been… less than helpful, I'm afraid. Does that answer your question, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded his head, "Kinda. You use lotsa biiiiiiig words, Jiji. But we don't need a gardenin, Jiji! I have Aniki!"

The Hokage chuckled. "Yes, your brother is very smart for his age, but the place you will be staying only leases to shinobi, so that means that you can't stay where I want you to stay unless a shinobi that lives there is responsible for you. This way I can have you trained… err… safely… and are protected."

Shinji smiled at his brother, trying to reassure him. It was understandable that Naruto did not like the idea of strangers. They hadn't exactly rolled out the red carpet to either of the Jinchuuriki. "Ototo, everything is going to be fine. Jiji says this person will protect you, and if they don't, I'll kill them and protect you myself. OK?"

Naruto gave a face splitting grin to his brother, "Ok, Aniki."

Sarutobi pressed the button on his desk once more and said, "Bring me Mitarashi Anko. And where is Inoichi?"

Shinji's eyes widened at the mention of Anko, but otherwise did nothing. _'Awww, crap. She's the crazy one, right?'_

The box on his desk spoke back a second later, "I will send someone to fetch Mitarashi-san now. And Yamanaka-san has just arrived, Sir. Should I send him in now?"

"Please." The Sandaime sat back in his chair and puffed on his pipe.

A man with a fixed, professional expression, well-defined jaw structure, and somewhat spiky, long blonde hair pulled back into a shoulder length pony-tail opened the door to the office and silently entered the room. He was wearing a long black trench coat on top of the standard green Konoha Jonin uniform.

This man glanced at the boys in momentary curiosity before bowing respectfully to his Hokage.

"Hokage-sama. Yamanaka Inoichi, reporting as ordered, Sir." The Jonin said with a formal tone.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Inoichi-san. I know you and Suzuki-san have your hands full with little Ino-chan, but a situation has come up that requires your clan's expertise, and I would not trust this task to anyone but you." The Hokage explained.

"I understand, Sir. Yes, she's been a little spitfire, and honestly, I'm a bit glad for the break." Inoichi said, and then looked more thoroughly at the boys sitting in the chairs in front of the Hokage's desk. "Am I to assume that this task involves these children in some way?"

"You would be correct. These two are Uzumaki Shinji, with the red hair, and Uzumaki Naruto, with the blonde hair-"

"Hey mister! You have yellow hair, too! I thought I was the only one!" Naruto suddenly yelled out, unable to contain his boundless energy and silence any longer.

Inoichi's eyes widened slightly as he recognized the names as belonging to the Yondaime's legacy and the Jinchuuriki, before he composed himself and chuckled lightly, "Yes, it isn't a common coloring here in Konohagakure, but I'm quite fond of it." He turned back to the Hokage, waiting for him to finish his briefing.

The Hokage cleared his throat before continuing. "Yes, well blonde hair aside, Shinji-kun has regaled me with an interesting tale and I would like to confirm his story. I need you to access his memories and tell me what you find there. Due to the unknown risk factor of accessing a Jinchuuriki's mind, I only want you to access the first layer of his mind to assess the risk. If you feel comfortable continuing, then do so at your discretion."

Shinji spoke up at this point, saying "I don't think Kyuubi will do anything. I don't even think he _can_. The Yondaime's seal is supposed to filter out the Kyuubi's mind from my own, so that he can't influence me. Since you would be inside my normal personal mind space, I'm pretty sure you would be safe…"

Inoichi looked warily at the Hokage. "He knows about Yondaime's seal? How much does this child know exactly…?"

The Hokage sighed showing his weariness. "More than any normal child should if I had my way, but I think your answers will come once you dive into his memories." The Sandaime motioned for Inoichi to begin his work. Turning to Naruto, he said, "Naruto, you will need to be quiet and not disturb these two while they work. I don't know what would happen to either one of them if you interrupted."

Naruto gulped and nodded fervently, suddenly wondering what the hell his brother was doing. He didn't understand anything that was happening other than they were going to be taken care of by some person and the yellow haired guy was going to do something with his aniki's head.

"Before you begin, Inoichi-san, you should know that there is some knowledge in my head that is for my eyes only. I don't know what would happen if you tried to enter these areas, but I don't think it would be smart to try. If any doors do not open easily, you probably shouldn't force them." Shinji warned, even while preparing himself to essentially be mind-raped.

"Uzumaki-san, I am a professional and I will only go where I need to in order to make a judgement on your threat status and your past. Those are my orders. I will be as gentle as possible. Are you ready to begin?"

Shinji nodded his consent and closed his eyes. A moment later he felt a hand against his forehead. If he had his eyes open he would have seem Inoichi close his eyes and make a lengthy sequence of one-handed seals with his unoccupied hand.

Both the blonde and the redhead went statue-still as the jutsu took effect.

Inside Shinji's mindscape, there was a room known as the 'Antechamber'. The Antechamber acted as sort of a place to put things or foreign presences until the mind had a chance to sort them or kick them out. It was a sort of landing pad, if you will. It was both a defense mechanism, as well as a simple method of maintaining some semblance of organization and sanity.

An existence in the shape of Yamanaka Inoichi slowly took form in the center of the Antechamber.

Inoichi looked around and saw the walls showing fast moving pictures, most of them depicting the Hokage's office and some of them featuring himself as well as some flashes from memories of places he didn't recognize. These were obviously the representation of the short term memories being sorted or discarded as the subconscious brain saw fit.

"Greetings, Sir. My name is Jarvis. Would you happen to be Mr. Yamanaka Inoichi?"

Inoichi snapped his attention to the sound, now aware of the impeccably dressed man standing in front of him in garments that looked to be from a foreign culture, but still gave off the air of someone important and regal, especially together with his ramrod straight back posture. Inoichi responded with a nod.

' _I didn't notice his presence at all. This kid has an uncanny control over his mind. This does not look like the mind of a child…'_ Inoichi thought to himself.

"Great! If you will follow me I will lead you to my Master. He is expecting you."

Inoichi nodded as he pondered what he was seeing. He had been in many minds. It was a part of his job in T & I after all. Even with all that experience it was very unusual to see a mental construct so detailed and varied. This was not the first time he had come across a 'Secretary' construct, but these people generally had some sort of mental issue, sometimes bordering on schizophrenia. The fact that this 'butler' had an entirely different personality than the child he had observed outside reinforced the idea that some… _uniqueness_ … may be involved in little Uzumaki Shinji. Then there was the room itself. In most people's minds, there is a general sorting mechanism that seems to follow the same theme of very simplistic sorting as a general rule, but Shinji's seemed to be more complex and actions completed at a faster pace. Lines were connected from picture to picture in flashes with data and other mental picture-thoughts being inscribed next to the bigger pictures of the outside world, before being whisked off to who knows where.

This was sure to be a very interesting tour…

* * *

 _ **That ends the first chapter and holy crap was that long. Please let me know how you felt about the writing style and story so far! I don't really have a schedule yet for publishing, but exams are nearly over with, so hopefully i'll have plenty of time... Hopefully.**_

 _ **Thanks again for reading and any feedback you give!**_

 _ **xFEALTYx**_


	2. Chapter 2: The Great Ramen Crusade

**A/N: Alrighty, folks! Here is chapter 2! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: [Insert generic disclaimer about me not owning Naruto and only owning this story and new characters I create and yadayadayada...]**

 **Chapter 2: The Great Ramen Crusade**

 _15 minutes later…_

Both Inoichi and Shinji stirred slightly before opening their eyes, prompting the Hokage to look up from his nemesis – paperwork – that he had been dealing with whilst waiting for the two to get done with their mind-walk.

"Inoichi-san, are you ok? Any negative effects from proximity to a Bijuu's mind?" The Hokage inquired of his Jonin.

The older blonde shook his head and replied, "None that I can tell, Hokage-sama. Either there was no danger or the Biju was not interested in my presence. I'm fine either way."

"Good. Then report when you are ready."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. Sir, based on my walk through Shinji's mindscape I do not believe that he has any ill intentions towards Konoha. Rather, he is indifferent towards Konoha, but has a near fanatical protectiveness of Naruto over here. I will say that, while he does not hate Konoha or love Konoha, if Konoha threatens his brother, he would very casually smile as he watched Konoha burn to the ground."

Naruto looked up as he heard his name mentioned, but soon went back to inspecting the murals of the previous Hokage that were lined across the walls, as well as artists depictions of some of the more famous battles they had been involved in. Every so often he would pose as if he were one of the heroes depicted, with a big stupid grin on his face.

The Hokage's left eyebrow raised in interest. This was not exactly news to celebrate, but considering what he had seen of the boys' treatment, it was a miracle that Shinji _didn't_ hate Konoha. Hopefully, he could get the two children to bond with others in the village and change their opinions over time.

Shinji just looked nonchalantly at the Hokage before shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Well, I probably wouldn't _smile_. Probably…"

Sarutobi turned back to his Jonin, and prompted him to continue his report and the Yamanaka coughed to clear his throat before continuing. "Right. Well, at first I had thought that Shinji was a bit mentally unstable, most likely some form of post-traumatic stress disorder from his time at the orphanage, _which_ I witnessed through his eyes and I can tell you, Hokage-sama, whatever punishment you decide to issue for their treatment I would suggest you double or triple it for the _utter shit_ that I saw. To close off children to the degree that these two were sequestered is torture for a child, not to mention it can lead to developmental and social disabilities. We sometimes use this same method in T &I for long term interrogation. Prisoners are so starved for interaction from absolute isolation that sometimes the weaker ones will give away valuable information thinking it will keep people around them longer. Humans are inherently social beings."

"I'll take your recommendations into consideration." Hiruzen replied with a frosty glint in his eye, as he pondered possible punishments. _'I wonder if there is a jutsu that allows me to kill someone three times…'_

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. After arriving in Shinji's mindscape, I was greeted by a secretary construct that took me to Shinji. I was worried about the construct, as I said before that I had the impression that Shinji might be bordering on some form of multiple personality disorder, however, I would now conclude that Shinji is just… eccentric, but within well within normal parameters by shinobi standards."

The Hokage leaned back slightly in his chair and slowly breathed out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding. Injuries could be healed, ignorance could be countered with education, but a full on mental breakdown would end the child's shinobi career even before it began. Even worse than that, Danzo would be able to make a strong case for the weaponizing of the Jinchuuriki since they would not able to be in the standard shinobi ranks, and he would argue that Konoha could not afford to be without her weapons. The fact that Shinji was not broken, just a bit odd, was good news indeed. That was one of his major concerns prior to bringing Inoichi in here: that it was already too late and Shinji had delved into insanity.

"Shinji proceeded to show me his life here in the orphanage, demonstrating incredible learning capabilities and resourcefulness and for a while there I thought that instead of being insane, he might be a genius, or some sort of savant. However, Shinji then told me that what I was seeing would make more sense if I had seen what happened before he was born. That's where it got strange… Hokage-sama, I don't think there are words that I can use to accurately describe what I saw, but it was definitely too detailed to be a hallucination, or a dream that Shinji had. He remembers a past life, or rather an alternative life in which he existed as a member of a race of humans that did not possess chakra. They were physically much weaker than we are, but their _technology.._. I have never seen anything like what they achieved. There were buildings that reached above the clouds. There were large metal contraptions that flew through the air across vast expanses of space, carrying over a hundred people inside. Nearly everyone rode in carriages that had nothing drawing them, which I thought at first _must_ be powered by chakra, but Shinji explained that was powered by their much deeper understanding of the rules that govern their universe and the concept of _com-bust-chun._ "

The Hokage looked at Shinji, who just looked back and said, "Combustion engine. Basically means maintaining miniature controlled explosions and harnessing the energy provided to power a motor that is capable of turning wheels of the vehicle.

"Hai. But what really shocked me were the weapons they possessed. Weapons that could fling tiny blunt kunai at Jonin kunai throwing speeds and were simple enough to be used by small children. Then there were the massive weapons that exploded like a Gokakyu no Jutsu the size of Konoha, and left the area inhospitable to life for hundreds of years."

Sarutobi widened his eyes and his mouth dropped opened, his pipe nearly falling out in in his shock. It would probably kill even him if he tried to produce a Gokakyu no Jutsu that large and these people did it _without chakra_. Utterly impossible. He looked at Shinji.

"Those are called nuclear weapons, or as governments in my old world referred to that class of weapons as _weapons of mass destruction_. And before you ask, no, I will not make a nuclear weapon for you, and no, I don't even know how to make one. I understand the basic concepts but I'm not about to bring that insanity here or even give a thought to trying."

"My dear Shinji-kun, I can honestly say that I would not ask for that. That kind of power is too much for mankind to handle responsibly. I don't know how your race is still standing."

"It's a day to day thing," Shinji said with a dark-humored chuckle.

Sarutobi looked back to Inoichi before asking, "Was there anything else to add, Inoichi-san?"

"Only that when I got to the portion of the story where Shinji-san was brought to our world I was prevented from seeing the details of the event, other than Shinji-san, or Nick-san as he was referred to, apparently died from some errant chakra from our world entering his world and wreaking havoc. But as he was dying he was brought from their world to ours by some beings that I couldn't see or understand much of what was happening. It is obvious that these beings have a way of making sure nobody can obtain information on them through techniques such as my clans. That is all I have to report, and may I please be dismissed so that I can drown myself in sake to get this stuff out of my head?"

Hiruzen chuckled, but nodded his head affirmative, "Yes, thank you for your expertise Inoichi-san."

The blonde Jonin silently exited the office, bringing the occupants back to two children and one old, but still considered overpowered Kage.

Sarutobi leaned back in his comfortable chair and puffed on his pipe as he let his mind wander over the information he was given. On the positive side, Shinji wasn't insane and both Naruto and Shinji had the desire to become shinobi. This would make it both easier to keep an eye on them, as well as encourage their growth in fine young ninja that would make their parent's proud. On the negative side, Shinji and Naruto had been abused and neglected and that was sure to color their relations with Konoha in the future, unless the damage could be reversed over time. In any case, there was no quick and easy solution, so getting them healthy and giving them some training might get their mind off of the civilians somewhat.

The Hokage's thoughts were interrupted by the intercom on the desk voicing: "Mitarashi-san is here, Hokage-sama." The secretary ninja's voice announced.

"Excellent, please allow her to enter." He replied.

The door opened seconds later to allow a young woman with astonishing dark purple hair and a mischievous smirk on her face. She couldn't be more than sixteen years old and wore a large tan overcoat, covering her skin-tight sleeveless mesh body suit and orange mini-skirt. She had the traditional open-toed shinobi sandals with addition of shin guards for extra protection. The kunoichi was obviously using her burgeoning womanliness and sex appeal as a distraction tool against her enemies.

If Shinji wasn't in a three year old's body with no appreciable hormone levels to speak of, he might have drooled a little bit.

"Ahhh, yes, there you are Anko-chan. How are you doing?"

"Actually you just caught me on my way here to report on my first successful solo C rank, Hokage-sama. Target was eliminated with no complications. I secured his head as proof for the client. Oh, hey gakis." She gave a small wave to the two children. She then placed a slightly blood smeared scroll on the desk in front of her Hokage.

Solo C ranks were essentially lower risk assassinations – generally involving elimination of low to mid-tier mob bosses with low risk for running into high level shinobi. The real danger came in that, as is in nearly all assassination missions, Konoha needed to not be implicated; so, Anko's 'no complications' meant that her cover had not been blown and she had not encountered any shinobi she couldn't handle.

Shinji gulped slightly as he was reminded of the nature of the business he was about to place his life into. He knew Anko somewhat from the manga he had read as a kid, but seeing a comic book picture with a sassy character is different than seeing a hardened kunoichi turning in a bloody scroll that you now knew contained a human's head. He was having difficulty reconciling the two versions of Anko in his head, even though they were the same person. But he waved back nonetheless.

"Thank you, Anko-chan. Good work, as always. How are adapting to life back in the village? How are the people treating you? Your skills have improved remarkably in recent months. Are you thinking of making the push to Jonin?"

"The villagers can kiss my young sexy ass! They only see the snake bastard's apprentice and not me. As for my skills…" She shrugged. "…I have to improve or I'll never be able to beat the shit out of my bastard ex-sensei. I don't think I'm Jonin material yet, but Ibiki says I'm very intimidating. It must have been after that one guy slapped my ass at the bar after I warned him that he would eat that hand if it touched me. I hear they had to surgically remove his hand from his esophagus. Ibiki has offered me a position in Torture and Interrogation and I think I'm going to take it."

Sarutobi regarded the young promising kunoichi in front of him with pride. He was saddened by the villagers once again showing their ignorance and inability to see beyond their fear, but maybe the villager's treatment would be the glue that would help Anko bond with the two Uzumaki's.

"It seems the people of Konoha have a habit of alienating some of its best citizens. Their treatment is something you share in common with the two gakis here." The Hokage said nodding in the direction of Shinji and Naruto. "It's one of the reasons that I chose you for this next long term mission."

Anko's eye widened as she quickly put the pieces together: children, long term commitment, things in common.

' _Motherfucker!'_ She exclaimed internally. "Ohhh no you don't you senile old man. What in my situation says to you _'Hey, this woman would be a great mother figure for two kids!'?_ They would only be in more danger around me!"

Hiruzen chuckled amusedly. "Granted, you have a point, however, I believe you can handle any risks involved. The fact is: my options are limited. And I also already knew about Ibiki's offer to you, as he asked me for permission before he offered it and I agree with his assessment that you would make an excellent interrogator. Being that T&I positions are routinely involved with sensitive data, they are not often given missions outside the village, except for retrieval missions for subjects which are then interrogated. This makes you the perfect choice to protect these children. Understand, I'm not saying you need to be their mother, although how you bond or deal with them is up to you. The mission is to protect them until such time as they graduate the academy and are shinobi in their own right and therefore adults. You will also be training them to the best of your ability during this time. What I am about to tell you now is an S class secret and is not to be talked about with anyone other than people I deem necessary."

"I understand, Hokage-sama."

"Good." Sarutobi Hiruzen settled into his 'Hokage face'. "When I said that these children were treated the same as you are by the villagers, I meant it. In fact, I can imagine that the villagers actually hate them more than they hate you. Again, they are short sighted and irrational, but they aren't _bad_ people; just… scared and misguided. Shinji and Naruto are deemed to be village pariahs, because they each carry half of the Kyuubi no Yoko's chakra. They are Jinchuuriki."

Anko's face slackened in disbelief and then turned grim as she knew how Jinchuriki historically were treated. She turned to the two young kids, and for a moment there was a look of sadness in her eyes before she squashed the emotion and turned back to her Hokage. "I accept the mission, Hokage-sama."

"Excellent! Now then, before I dismiss you all to get acquainted, there is something you should know. Shinji and Naruto were both subjected to malnourishment and were socially ostracized on an extreme level. Shinji has dealt with it on his own unique terms and, for a lack of a better way to put it, seems to be fine, but we don't know if any issues will arise with Naruto. They will need to be brought up to an acceptable physical readiness before they will be able to train, and I want you to watch them for any signs of mental trauma. If you see anything strange, contact Inoichi-san immediately."

Anko tried to suppress her KI, but a little got through letting everyone know of her intense displeasure. The ANBU hidden in the office collectively decided that pissing off Anko in the near future would probably _not_ be the soundest decision they could make, and even less so once Ibiki got his hands on her training and her mind.

Anko just nodded.

"Ok, then! I believe that you are in a one bedroom suite right now Anko-chan. Being that Shinji and Naruto are orphans, the money that would have gone to them for lodging and food will be directed to your account as their legal guardian. That, coupled with the money I will add since you are training prospective shinobi under B rank mission parameters, you should easily be able to afford a nice two, or maybe three bedroom place, close to the training grounds."

Shinji, who had been silently observing the talk while Naruto was doing everything but listening to the adults, decide to voice his opinion. "A two bedroom apartment should be fine. Otouto and I are alright with the same room until were older. We can use the extra money for training materials."

There was no way Shinji was letting Naruto out of his sight more than absolutely necessary, at least until Naruto was developed enough to fend for himself in a fight. The rest was just an excuse to sell the idea, so he could be as close as possible to Naruto at all times.

"Alright then, brats! You're now my bagga- err… responsibility. You will do as I say, when I say. During training, you will refer to me as 'Anko-sensei,' or 'sexy-sensei,' whichever you prefer. Otherwise, Anko-chan is fine. First order of business is to find a decent apartment and get settled in. Let's go!" Anko moved to the door and beckoned the kids to follow her.

Naruto's stomach, with impeccable timing, loudly growled its desire for sustenance.

"I agree with Otouto. Maybe getting some food first would be best. Neither of us got breakfast this morning."

Anko tried to keep a pleasant look on her face as she was reminded of their treatment at the orphanage. "Well, food it is! Any preferences? Since this is our first meal together I'll let you guys choose what we eat, and then I'll show you the errors of your choice when I introduce you to the food of the gods: DANGO!" At the word 'DANGO!' Anko bowed her head and clasped her palms together as if she were in deep prayer to her Lord and Savior.

Shinji got an evil glint in his eye at the opportunity to perform his version of 'initiation'. You see, at this point, Naruto has never had ramen. But Shinji knows that once Naruto gets a taste of his own personal 'food of the gods' that all hell is going to break loose. And Shinji _is_ an Uzumaki, with pranks and mischief practically being embedded in their genetics.

"Well, Naruto and I once overheard that there was a really good ramen place called Ichibaka's, or Ichizoku's, or something like that? We've never had ramen before, so I think we'd both like to try that?" Shinji said innocently as possible.

Sarutobi saw the glint of mischief in Shinji's eye and suppressed a chuckle. He had also known Uzumaki Kushina and her nearly legendary appetite for the dish of noodles and broth. This would be an _excellent_ bonding opportunity for the trio. After all, bonding often happens when tears are shed, and Anko would be shedding water from her eyes so hard people would think she had a crying kekkei genkai when she saw the hit to her wallet.

"Ohhh, I think you mean Ichiraku's Ramen. Yeah, I've been there. It's good, but has nothing on the food of the gods! But if you've never had ramen then I suppose it's a good choice to get it for the first time. Onward to Ichiraku's, minions!"

Shinji waved to Sarutobi as he followed Anko out the door, not even trying to hide the mischief in his face. Naruto also waved goodbye and yelled, "Bye Hokage-jiji!" as he raced to catch up to his brother.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, sure enough Anko was crying anime tears of misery and depression as she saw her wallet shrivel and die, its spirit rising from its own ashes to go to wallet heaven. Shinji and Naruto were both on their sixth bowl – six motherfucking bowls! Each! At three years old! – and they were just now showing signs of approaching full tank.

Teuchi and Ayame Ichiraku just stared in awe that these two… bottomless pits… could eat their own body weight in food. Not that they were complaining. If these kids became regulars, Teuchi's retirement fund was a done deal!

The introduction of the two to ramen had been hilarious for the shop owners to observe. Three steaming bowls of miso ramen had been placed in front of the three, and all had taken their first bites. Anko ate hers normally, enjoying it, but not nearly to the degree she enjoyed dango. But the other two had stopped and simply stared at the bowls. At first, Teuchi and Ayame thought the boys didn't like it, since they weren't eating. Then suddenly, Naruto face planted into the bowl and seconds later slurping and munching sounds were heard along with groans of pleasure. If this wasn't a three year old, it would almost sound erotic.

Shinji was only slightly more dignified as he scooped his bowl up and began shoveling noodles into his mouth as fast as he could move his chopsticks – at one point abandoning the chopsticks and just using his hands to sweep the contents into his mouth.

Both children finished at the same time, with broth and bits of noodles and dazed expressions on their faces.

"More…" Shinji muttered.

"Excuse me?" Ayame replied, not having heard Shinji's low voice.

"MORE RAMEEEEN!" Naruto yelled with stars in his eyes.

Shinji turned to Anko, who just looked bewildered at this point. "What Naruto-otouto is trying to say is: We require more of this god amongst foods and sacrifices must be made. Your wallet will live in infamy as a martyr to this great cause."

Shinji just stared Anko in the eye, not wavering in his demand to fulfill what he believed now to be a holy conquest of ramen consumption. Naruto activated his vaunted _Puppy Eyes no Jutsu_ and turned it full blast in Anko's direction. Ayame caught a little bit of it and struggled not to yell 'Kawaiiiiiiii!' and smother Naruto in hugs.

Anko responded intelligently with: "Uh, sure?"

"YES!" both boys cried in unison.

Thus began The Great Ramen Crusade…

* * *

Six months came and went in the blink of an eye to the three.

Anko had found a nice three bedroom apartment near a training ground and not too far from one of Anko's favorite haunts: Training Ground 44, also known affectionately as 'The Forest of Death.' It was also right around the corner from the Nara and Akamichi clan compounds. The twins had a room together so the biggest room in the house was to be turned into a miniature study over time. Books would be stored there on shelves, and there were two small desks there for each of the children. Eventually, the twins would be learning jutsu from scrolls and practicing seals in this room.

The Uzumaki twins had turned four years old during this time. They had not been subjected to much in the way of physical training yet, but both had learned the alphabet and had started reading. Naruto was still reading children's books – when he was forced to read – as he didn't have Shinji's vocabulary to extrapolate from. The problem was that Naruto's endless energy resulted in his absolute inability to sit in one place for more than five minutes, unless he was eating ramen – then he could sit all day if he needed to.

Shinji had progressed into intermediate level reading. Basically he could read some 'adult' level books, but didn't quite have the vocabulary or familiarity with the language to read what he considered to be collegiate level research papers or things that required advanced vocabulary to explain. This meant that he wasn't quite ready to begin real research into Fuin principles, much to his displeasure.

Their physical condition had improved drastically and they had just been deemed ready to begin more physical modes of training. Up until now they had mainly limited physical training to katas to learn proper forms and light distance running. Both children were able to run up to five miles straight at a moderate pace without stopping. Only Shinji was really winded at this point, as Naruto's ridiculous chakra levels allowed him to shine. Anko was quite impressed with both kids, but damned if she'd let the kids know it. She worked them into the ground as hard as she could without causing injury, but it starting to show results.

They had also begun learning to throw kunai and shuriken and spent many hours practicing at the training grounds on wooden dummy targets. They were even given blunted versions of both weapons and told that if they were able to land a hit on Anko at any time with the weapons on throwing training days, then she would buy them ramen for dinner. They had yet to win, but for the two ramen crusaders it was powerful motivation, and it also doubled as stealth training as the only hope they had was to catch her by surprise.

Both boys now could access their chakra and do some basic molding, but did not know any jutsu. Shinji already knew how to access his chakra before Anko showed him but he didn't want to let on to how much he knew so he purposefully acted like he couldn't access it until Naruto was able to accomplish it. Then he followed suit. He had not yet told Anko about his other life or the Sentinel's yet, and wondered why the old man hadn't said anything about them back in the office that day. He was grateful that the Hokage had not put his business out there for strangers to know and let Shinji reveal that knowledge to the people he wanted to and on his own terms.

Shinji did not fully trust the Hokage, but he had so far shown himself to be an honorable and likeable grandfather figure. Every week or two, the two kids would go to the Hokage's office to visit the old man and regale him with their training exploits, to which Sarutobi usually just chuckled and commended them on their efforts and told them to keep up the good work. Anko and Hiruzen would talk about plans about the boys' development, often about when the two would attend the academy, or in some cases _if_ they should attend the academy. Ultimately, it was decided that they would go to the academy when they turned six. It would afford them entry into the shinobi ranks in a somewhat normal fashion, so the two wouldn't feel like outcasts in the ranks – hopefully.

Life was looking up for Anko and the two boys. They were very nearly a family and both boys had come to trust Anko to a reasonable level, despite Shinji having not revealed everything yet. They had kept a wary eye on her for the first couple months, but it had been made clear to them through the villagers' glares that weren't always on the two children that Anko did indeed have more in common with them than they knew. This made them recognize Anko as somewhat of a kindred spirit and made it easier for them to let her in over time.

Then next two years were filled with more and more training to make sure they would be prepared for the academy and ready to excel. Both boys would enter with the ability to read very well, as well as solid foundations in the standard Taijutsu forms and Hebi style. They were reasonably well practiced in hitting stationary targets with kunai, shuriken, and senbon, but still had not managed to land a hit on Anko.

They had been taught the _Kawarimi no Jutsu_ and forced to practice it until they could execute the technique with a single one handed seal, although it would not be considered mastered until they could both do it completely without hand signs. Both boys showed a striking ability to perform _Henge no Jutsu_ , being able to perform the jutsu almost flawlessly the moment the seals were demonstrated to them, and yet somehow both managed to completely fail at producing standard Bunshin.

Anko had decided that the focus of their chakra training for now would need to be centered on chakra control exercises. She had started them both on leaf exercises, sticking leaves to their bodies with chakra or making them float above their palms and spinning them.

And then finally it was time…

The boys went to bed that night excited for the next day. The next day they would officially be set on the road to becoming shinobi.

They would start at the Konohagakure Shinobi Academy.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter gets us up to the point where Shinji and Naruto are ready to enter the academy to become true shinobi. This is pretty much entirely character building, saving some minor action stuff for next chapter. Please feel free to send a review! See you soon!**

 **xFEALTYx**


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